Gone Astray
by annadiel
Summary: [after ep. 39] Goku gets separated from Sanzoutachi in a bazaar. Homura seizes this opportunity to persuade Goku again to come with him. And this time, Goku seems to agree. Rated T for some swearing and violence on the next chapters. Chapter 9 up!
1. Meeting

**Title: Gone Astray**

**Author: annadiel**

**Disclaimer: Saiyuki and all of its characters are not my property. The only thing I can call my own is the story of this fic. And if this fic resembles anything you've read before, then it's purely coincidental.**

**Synopsis: Goku gets separated from Sanzo and the others in a big bazaar. Homura seizes this opportunity to persuade Goku once more to come with him. And this time, Goku seems to agree with him. Will Goku leave his mission and come with the god?**

Hello to everyone! Whew, at last I'm able to post a new fic. I know Saiyuki's first part is a bit old, but after watching Reload and Gunlock, I can say the first is the best. And with my love for Saiyuki rekindled (with the extra help of staring at Goku's pic for several hours), I was able to get enough inspiration to write again. So I'm offering this new surge of inspiration to Saiyuki, thus this fic is born!

Constructive criticisms and suggestions are very much welcome. And as always, no flames please. Thanks for dropping by!

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**I. Meeting**

It was a quiet afternoon.

The Sanzo-ikkou was driving by a forest path. Normally during these times Goku and Gojyo fought over something, with Hakkai smiling and Sanzo shooting his gun. But today was one of the rare moments when no one, not even talkative Goku, spoke a word. Everyone was silent.

These past days were uncomfortable for them, what with the demons constantly after the Maten Kyoumon and their heads, and adding to that three gods pestering them every moment they get a chance. Those gods, Zenon, Shien, and Homura, called them different names. They told the ikkou that they would change the world. And that they were going to do it with Goku's help.

The ikkou noticed Homura's fondness over Goku. He showed interest in Goku's powers, that which he called the power capable of creating a new world, or destroying an old one. His eyes showed that he did not _want_ Goku, he _needed _him. He needed his strength.

The god had tried to get Goku before, on one rainy day, seeing through the kid's hurt emotions because of Sanzo turning him away. He did not succeed, however, because Sanzo, Hakkai and Gojyo were able to take Goku back. But Homura's hope was not lost, and he told the ikkou that next time, he would take Goku forcibly.

Goku himself had been thinking of these past events. Why would someone like Homura take an interest in him? Was it because they both have the same eye color? That golden yellow color, the eyes of a heretic, an unwanted being both in heaven and earth? And did he know the god from somewhere? It seemed that Homura knew more about his past than he himself knew. And the god told him something that he still could not forget.

"I can give you back your memories."

His memories. The memories which he tried hard to recover, but seemed impossible of even occurring. Homura told him he could give them back. It sounded so much promising, but he decided not to believe him. He only believed in his friends, in this case, Sanzo and the others.

Goku's stomach growled. _Ah_, he thought, _all these thinking make me hungry. _"Haraheta…"

With the silence broken, Gojyo blurted out, "Mata haraheta ka, baka-saru? Why are you always like that? You only care about one thing, and that is filling your stomach."

"But I can't help it," Goku replied, "And how about you? You're just the same as I am."

"Am not," Gojyo retorted.

"You are! You also care about one thing: ladies!"

"I care about ladies, cigarette, and booze. And that's three things. Get that, stupid monkey?"

"Don't call me stupid, you horny cockroach! Water monster!"

"Don't call me cockroach! I'm the most gorgeous man in this group!"

"And so! Like the hell I care about that!"

Their babblings continued, until finally Sanzo fired his gun in the air. "Urusai! If you don't shut up, I'll kill you!"

The two quieted down. Hakkai just laughed. "Looks like everything's the same again, ne?"

After a few moments, Goku asked, "Ne, Hakkai, when are we going to arrive at a new town? I'm already starving." And his stomach agreed, growling even louder. "See?"

Hakkai replied, "Well, Goku, it seems you don't have to wait for long."

"Why is that?"

"Look before you, Goku."

Goku did as he was told. And to his delight, a huge town was in sight. "Uwah! Sono mura wa deke! Maybe there are a lot of restaurants there! Ne, Sanzo, let's try them all!"

The monk hit him with his trademark paper fan. "And what, make me pay for all you eat? In your dreams, baka-saru!"

"Kechi!" was all that Goku could say.

"Ma, ma, Goku," said Hakkai, "Don't worry, I'll treat you today. What do you want?"

"Hakkai, you're so kind to this baka-kozo. Don't spoil him," told Gojyo.

Goku made a funny face at the redhead and teased, "You're just jealous because Hakkai will treat me and not you!" then he turned to Hakkai, "Ne, ne, I want lots of meat buns, spring rolls, and potstickers! And also soup, grilled fish, roasted duck, and..."

Hakkai sweatdropped. "Can you reduce that, Goku? I think I don't have enough money for all of that."

"Well then, I think lots of meat buns will be okay!"

--0—

Not long after, they arrived at the town. At the moment they arrived, they noticed that there were a lot of people in there. There were also a lot of different booths, some selling clothes, food, and other merchandise. There were also lots of lights around, and some performers in the streets.

"Wow! It's a bazaar!" exclaimed Goku, his happiness easily seen.

"Nice timing," said Gojyo, "I can go to a bar and relax there."

"Food, food, and more food! It makes me so excited! Ne, Hakkai, ikou yo!" Goku then tugged Hakkai's right sleeve.

Hakkai asked Sanzo, "How about you, Sanzo? What's your plan?"

"Let's find a place to rest before each of you go out," Sanzo mentioned. "I'll just stay in there. I'm not in the mood for this."

The four then went to find an inn or a hotel to stay in. But wherever they go to, it was already full. After half an hour or so, they finally found one, although it wasn't that nice, and only one room was vacant. Since they had no more to go to, and not one of them would like to sleep outdoors, they got themselves that room.

After entering their room, Goku blurted out, "All that walking made me even hungrier. Let's eat!"

"Go ahead. I'll stay here," said Sanzo.

"Are you sure about that, Sanzo?" asked Goku. Sanzo was silent, which meant he was serious. "Well then, Hakkai and I will just buy you some food, okay? Hakkai, ikou!"

"I'll go, too," told Gojyo, "see y'all later, then."

--0—

The night was alive. Lots of people were having fun in the bazaar. Hakkai and Goku went from one booth to another, mostly to those which sell food.

Goku was the most eager to buy this and that. Hakkai couldn't help it but laugh, seeing Goku this way. But even though that was the case, he couldn't help but feel a little nervous. It was like this would be Goku's final moments of happiness with them. It was like seeing the teen for the last time.

"Hakkai, let's buy this! And that one! And the one over there! Hakkai datteba!" Goku turned to Hakkai, and noticed the serious look in his face. "Daijobu ka, Hakkai?"

Hakkai got over his thinking and replied, "Hai, hai. Now, what were you saying?"

Gojyo was also having fun in his own ways. And Sanzo, he was in the inn, reading a book and smoking his cigarette. All seemed well, until someone knocked at the door. Interrupted with his relaxation, and thinking it was Goku and Hakkai already back, Sanzo asked angrily while opening the door, "Now what! I thought you were so excited about—"

He stopped suddenly when he saw who was at the door. "Good evening, Konzen Douji. Or rather, Genjou Sanzo."

"H-Homura!"

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That's it for chapter 1. It's not that suspenseful, is it? Hope you liked it! Please continue reading!


	2. Capture

**Title: Gone Astray**

**Author: annadiel**

**Disclaimer: Saiyuki and all of its characters are not my property. The only thing I can call my own is the story of this fic. And if this fic resembles anything you've read before, then it's purely coincidental. **

**Synopsis: Goku gets separated from Sanzo and the others in a big bazaar. Homura seizes this opportunity to persuade Goku once more to come with him. And this time, Goku seems to agree with him. Will Goku leave his mission and come with the god?**

Hello again! If you are reading this now, then, thanks for believing in me. Okay, chapter two will focus first on Sanzo and Homura talking, and then it's Goku's turn to meet with Homura. Happy reading!

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**II. Capture**

"Good evening, Konzen Douji. Or rather, Genjou Sanzo."

The man before the monk gazed at him enigmatically; his green and yellow eyes seemed to pierce inside of him.

"H-Homura!"

Sanzo got his gun and pointed it at Homura.

Homura smiled. "Still haven't learned your lesson, huh? You already shot me before, and you saw there was no effect. Put that thing down."

Sanzo did not listen to him, and with his gun still aimed at the god, he asked, "What are you doing here?"

Homura went inside the room and sat on the bed, making Sanzo even more pissed off.

"Who told you that you can enter this room?"

"I'm a guest, don't you know? I may be uninvited, but I'm a guest nonetheless," answered Homura. Then he asked, "Where's Goku?"

"That's none of your business!" yelled the monk.

"None of my business? Oh, it sounds like you do care for Goku, now don't you?"

"Like the hell I care about that little brat! He's nothing more than a servant!"

"Well if that's what you think, then give him to me."

Sanzo did not say anything. But his face was livid and his eyes flaming with anger. Homura finally stood up and faced the blonde monk. "You still have two 'servants' anyway. Don't you think going with three servants at the same time is a pain in the ass? Why not let me have the kid? He won't be of any use to you anyway. But I need him. I have many plans for him. If he stays with you, he won't be able to discover his true self…"

"But if I do give Goku to you, that would be a hard part on you. It's very hard to take care of a stupid monkey like him. And I do not own him! It's his decision if he wants to go with you!"

"Ooh, how thoughtful of you, Genjou Sanzo. You're right about that. But I can take care of him just fine…"

"…besides, I know more about him than anyone of you do. I know him more than he himself knows. That seems clear to him as well."

"Well, you can see he's not here! Now get lost!" Sanzo's temper reached its limit.

Homura smiled at the monk again and started to walk out of the room. "Okay, okay. I'll go. But remember this: one day you will not see him anymore. At that time, he himself will choose to come to me. So be happy until then." And as he walked out the door, he disappeared.

After Homura was gone, Sanzo put his gun down and collapsed on the chair. "Goku will leave us? What is he thinking? Don't make me laugh..."

--0—

Goku and Hakkai were still touring the bazaar. The teen was still going to various shops, while Hakkai carried most of what they bought that it had almost blocked his sight. The number of people by that time had doubled, and it was hard to walk without bumping to each other. It was also getting noisier. Goku, too excited, walked so fast, leaving Hakkai rushing after him.

"Hey Goku, wait for me!" yelled Hakkai. But the noise drowned Hakkai's voice. Goku walked fast, and since Hakkai had too many to carry, he lost Goku in the sea of people.

After some time, Goku found another shop that he liked: a takoyaki stand. His eyes lit in delight, and he stood before the stall.

"Irasshai, irasshai!" called the owner, "Well, it seems that you like to buy takoyaki, eh, son?"

"Yup, yup! How much for one order, ojisan?"

"I'll give it to you for 70 bucks. That would be eight pieces per order."

"Oh! Ne, Hakkai, did you hear that? Let's buy four orders! One for each of us! Hakkai—"

But when he looked back, he did not see Hakkai. "Eh? Hakkai? Hakkai! Where are you? Hakkai!" No response. Hakkai was nowhere near him. So he turned to the owner and said, "Ojisan, I'll come back later, okay?"

--0—

Homura was walking in the busy streets of the town. He noticed that the townspeople were so happy about the whole event.

"So, is this how humans celebrate something? Interesting."

Just then, he heard a familiar voice.

"Ojisan, I'll come back later, okay?"

He turned to where the voice came from. There, standing before the takoyaki stand just a few steps before him, was Goku. The teen was talking to the stall owner.

"I lost my friend Hakkai in the bazaar. He's the one who has money, and I don't. I'll search for him first okay?" said Goku.

The owner replied, "Okay, son. I'll wait for you." He then noticed a man walking towards them. "Say, son, is that man your friend? He's looking at you and is coming here."

"Who?" said Goku as he turned back. To his surprise, he saw the god who was after him this whole time. He froze at the sight of him.

"H-Homura…?"

"Hello, Goku," greeted the god, "All alone, are you?"

Goku regained his senses as he heard Homura speak. He just told the owner, "No, he's not. But I'll be back with him later. Thanks!" He then attempted to rush away from the scene. Homura, however, got hold of Goku's wrist. "Wait."

"What? What do you want?" Goku suddenly shouted. He felt a mixture of anger and fear; he thought he was sure of Homura's answer.

And, expectedly, Homura replied, "You."

He then punched Goku in the abdomen, causing the latter to twist in pain. Another punch landed in the same portion, this time knocking him unconscious. Homura then carried Goku. No one but the stall owner saw what happened, and the god turned to him and smiled. The owner was aghast and could only say, "M-monster!"

"Monster?" replied Homura, "I'm no monster. I'm a god." He then disappeared with Goku. The owner stood there, speechless and afraid.

--0—

Sanzo was still seated on the chair, motionless and thinking deeply. After a while, Hakkai came, carrying lots of paper bags full of food and other stuff that only Goku would buy. "Hi, Sanzo. Seems like you're really at it being alone all this time." Sanzo said nothing. He just puffed his cigarette as he always did. Once he put the last bag on the floor, Hakkai said, "So Goku's not here yet. I thought so…"

Hearing Goku's name, Sanzo quickly turned to Hakkai and asked in a sort of angry way, "Goku? How come he's not here? I thought he was with you!"

Hakkai was a bit surprised at Sanzo's reaction, and he answered, "I lost him in the bazaar. There were lots of people outside, and with these entire luggage, I couldn't keep up with him, Goku being excited like that and all. So I decided to come back here first and put these down, then find him after to make things easier."

Sanzo quickly got up on his feet and told Hakkai, "Let's go, now! You just made things more complicated!"

"O-okay. Why are you like that tonight? You seem a bit strange…"

Sanzo, while getting his gun, replied, "…Homura. He's here. He's still after him. You understand now, then?"

Hearing that made Hakkai upset. Homura was there. What if the god found Goku before they did? It would really be hard if that happened. "Let's go."

As they were going down, they met Gojyo at the stairs. Gojyo asked, "Hey, hey! What's up? Why are you in a hurry?"

"Goku's lost," Hakkai replied.

"Ah? That baka-saru's what? What a pain in the ass! So what's the big deal?"

"…Homura's in town as well."

"Homura? Are you telling me Goku's caught again?"

"We're not sure yet. That's why we're going to find him."

"Will you two quit it?" said Sanzo, "You're wasting time. Oi Gojyo, you come with us."

"Of course, I will! Once I find Goku, I'll kick his sorry butt!"

--0—

"Uhnn," muttered Goku. He woke up in complete darkness, with only the moon lighting the place. He tried to stand up, but the pain in his abdomen went back. "Itai…"

"Looks like you're already awake, Seiten Taisei Son Goku."

Goku looked at the direction from where the voice came.

"Homura…"

Homura was smiling at him. And then he saw where they were: in the forest just outside of town.

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Well, that ends this chapter! I don't really know how they price food, so I made that price for the takoyaki up. Is it okay, or do I need to change the price? hehe...And yeah, poor Goku… And Sanzo seems to be worried about Goku, after all. Hee-hee! After reading this, you may think there's some kind of pairing, but no, your mind is just fooling with you. I won't make any pairings here, just to make things clear. I swear! So for those who anticipated for such, sorry for disappointing you. Next chapter will be entitled "Persuasion". That, I think, gives the whole plot of the next chapter. See you then! Thanks again!


	3. Persuasion

**Title: Gone Astray**

**Author: annadiel**

**Disclaimer: Saiyuki and all of its characters are not my property. The only thing I can call my own is the story of this fic. And if this fic resembles anything you've read before, then it's purely coincidental.**

**Synopsis: Goku gets separated from Sanzo and the others in a big bazaar. Homura seizes this opportunity to persuade Goku once more to come with him. And this time, Goku seems to agree with him. Will Goku leave his mission and come with the god?**

Wha--? You're still here! Wow! Thanks! …Okay, chapter three will just be a lot of talking between Goku and Homura. This will start the conflicts, Goku's dilemma and confusion. Will he ever snap out of it? Only I can tell…hehe…

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**III. Persuasion**

"Homura…" Goku looked at the god indifferently. He stood up, and was astonished. "Why am I…"

"…Why are you unbounded?" told Homura, "It's unnecessary, as I know you will not run away from me again."

"What made you think that way? Don't underestimate me!"

"Who says I'm underestimating you? I revere you, Goku. You are important to me. The ones who misjudge your true powers are your so-called 'friends'. Especially that monk, Genjou Sanzo. They don't care for you. You're just some puppet to them."

"You're wrong! You're terribly wrong about that!" an infuriated Goku shouted back. Birds flew to all directions at the sound of Goku's voice. His shout was enough to raise the dead, but no one heard it, for the two of them were deep in the forest.

"And what proof do you have?" asked the toushin.

"Well…" Goku turned silent for the moment.

"What?"

"Stop pressuring me! Alright, here's why! They are always with me! Gojyo may be cocky most of the time, but I know he cares! And Hakkai, he's always kind to me! He gives me anything I want and I know I can depend on him! And Sanzo, if not for him, I wouldn't be where I am right now! They all have saved me a lot of times already! If they don't care, they would have just left me for dead!"

Homura smiled deceivably. "But are you sure they did all those things for you because they do care? Sha Gojyo's teasing you all of the time, and you call that caring? Cho Hakkai seems to care for you because he sees there will be no one else in the group to do so. And your beloved Genjou Sanzo, do you remember why he freed you? You were calling out to him, and that seemed to him as an annoying noise. He did that just to shut you up. And why do they save you when you are about to fall down? They will lose a very strong fighter if you die. They only benefit in your strength. And after this mission is over, you no longer serve any purpose. Who can tell if they're not going to return you to Mount Gogyo?..."

Goku shriveled at Homura's words. _Why_, he thought, _why do I seem to start to believe on what he's saying? They can't be true. Sanzo will not return me to that prison and lock me up. I know. I believe…_

Homura could see that his words were starting to affect Goku. "…Or worse, they may kill you."

At that statement, Goku snapped.

"Sanzo will never do that to me! They will never try to kill me! They are my companions! My friends!"

"Hm? But you are a heretic, Goku. You are considered an ominous existence. You are said to bring bad luck on those who you come close to. And your mere existence can disrupt the balance of the world. Will that reason not be enough for you to be condemned to death? And you were imprisoned before. Do you not know the reason why?"

The golden-eyed kid just stared at Homura with eyes full of hurt and hatred.

"…Oh yes, of course you don't. My apologies. But remember what I said before? That I can give you back your memories?"

"And I told you I can search for them myself!"

"But what if you can't? Who will help you? There is no one here on earth that knows who you are, Goku. Only the gods know you. Only the gods who you were close to know you. But they're all dead. And they don't seem to remember anything about their past life, either."

Goku, after hearing that, again saw that recurring figure of a boy with golden eyes that looked at him, sad and piercing. His head hurt, and he screamed in pain. He clutched his head. "Stop it! Stop it now!"

"Why do you want me to stop? Don't you want to hear more truth about your 'friends'?"

"No! They're not true! You're just making things up to screw my mind!"

"But they're true, Goku. They are not with you because they want to be with you. That is not because of free will, but because of obligation. If you weren't commanded to go to the West, will you ever meet? Will you ever be together like you are now?"

"You were always alone, Goku. You never had any family. Even if you did, they just die, and what's more painful is that they die because of you. You were always alone, and you will always be."

"But Sanzo, Hakkai, and Gojyo are my family now! And they aren't dead!"

"There's no telling about that. You are just sane because of that diadem around your forehead. And who can tell when you'll go berserk again? Who knows? Maybe they will die by your very own hands."

"No! I will not do that to them!"

"But you did attack them before, right? You couldn't stop yourself. You were not yourself."

Goku started to break down. He was totally confused, his eyes wide with astonishment.

"Stop…please, just stop…"

"You're all alone in this world."

Goku couldn't handle it anymore. "I SAID STOP!"

He summoned his nyoibou and attacked Homura. But his attacks were in vain; Homura had an easy time dodging them all. With his emotions getting the better of him, his movements were easy to read. He was so transparent.

"Why attack me so suddenly? You think the same, right? Don't deny them. You know that all I said to you are true," said Homura as he dodged Goku's attacks.

Goku just kept on attacking. He was not listening to Homura, or at least he was trying not to. But no matter how hard he tried, the words kept toying within his mind. A part of him kept denying everything, but there was another part that told him all were true. He stopped for a moment, and to release his emotions, let out a scream. Once again he raced towards Homura and attempted to attack him.

Homura grew bored of just dodging everything, and so as Goku rushed towards him, he braced himself to attack as well. He again was able to dodge the boy's attack, and then he punched Goku in the face, sending the boy flying away from him. Goku fell flat on the ground, and Homura waited for him to stand up. But Goku lied still on the ground. The toushin walked towards him, and was surprised when he saw what kept Goku lying still.

The kid was crying.

"Does Sanzo…really think about me like that…? And also Gojyo, and Hakkai…? Why…? Why?..."

"WHY AM I STARTING TO BELIEVE IN WHAT THIS FUCKING GOD TELLS ME!"

Homura smiled at how everything turned out. "How weak you have become, Goku. But I can help you. I, too, am alone in this world. I, too, have been shunned by society. Only I understand what you feel. For we are the same."

"..We are…the same?"

"Yes. We are the same. My offer still stands, Goku. Come with me, and I will help you gain back your memories. I will help you control the immeasurable power you possess. I will give you everything you want. Just take my hand, and all will be fine." Homura then offered a hand to Goku.

Goku looked at Homura's hand, and then at Homura. Homura looked tender at him. _What a calm face, _thought Goku, _it seems like he will really care for me. But Sanzo, he does not have that kind of appreciation for me. He only treats me as an expendable. He never truly cared. So as Gojyo. But Hakkai, is it true that he's faking his care for me? Why?_

And suddenly, he remembered something that Sanzo had said to him recently.

"I did not free you because…I needed a servant."

_Yeah, Sanzo said that. Maybe he cares for me, after all. Otherwise he wouldn't have said that._

And with that thought in mind, Goku looked sternly at Homura and slapped the toushin's hand away. "I will not go with you! I will not go anywhere unless Sanzo tells me so!"

Homura, as always, was patient, and he pulled Goku back up, his feet above the ground, and struck him in the abdomen again. The pain in Goku's stomach went back, and he shrieked in pain. Homura did this again and again, until he saw that Goku was nearing unconsciousness. He then held Goku's wrists and he teleported with Goku back to the town.

--0—

"Goku! Goku! Where are you?" yelled Hakkai.

"Oi, baka-saru! Come on, show up your ass!" that was Gojyo. Sanzo just followed behind. But although he did not yell like Hakkai or Gojyo, his eyes were all alert if in case Goku turns up.

There was no sign of Goku anywhere in the bazaar. They were able to search the whole town, but no Goku showed up. They stopped for a while.

"He's not anywhere here," said Hakkai, "I'm afraid he might have been caught. We're too late."

"Don't say that!" yelled Gojyo, "Maybe the saru's gone back to the inn and is waiting for us there. He won't be easily caught! He's strong!"

"But Gojyo—"

"But Hakkai!"

The man in the stall before them heard what they were talking about. So he decided to butt in, "Are you perhaps, the man Hakkai?"

When Hakkai heard his name, he turned to the stall owner, who happened to be the owner of the takoyaki stand Goku went to earlier. "Yes, but how did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "Earlier there was a kid with golden eyes searching for you when he was about to buy takoyaki from me. Then this man turned up, he had a weird set of eyes, and he took the kid. I'm sorry for what happened."

_Goku was taken, by a man with eyes of different color?_ Hakkai thought, _Could that man be…!_

"Hey, ojisan, do you know where they are?" Gojyo asked angrily.

"I-I don't know!" replied the man, shocked at how Gojyo asked him."He just disappeared before me!"

"Homura…" mumbled Sanzo.

Just then, they heard an uproar from the people around. Some were pointing to the sky above.

"Look! There are two men flying above us!" a villager shouted.

Sanzo and the others looked above. And there, they saw who they were finding for.

It was Goku, and he was with Homura.

--0—

"W-where are we?" asked Goku as he felt that he was floating.

Homura answered, "We're back in the town. You told before that you won't go anywhere without Sanzo telling you to do so? Then…" Homura put his hand on Goku's diadem.

"…No! Don't!" Goku yelled as Homura was removing his diadem.

"…I'll make him tell you to go away."

The diadem was now in Homura's hand.

"NOOOOOO!"

"Show me your real powers, Seiten Taisei Son Goku. Kill. Kill for me. Kill them all."

"This will be the start for my new world…"

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Whew! I think that went well. Poor Goku, being brainwashed like that and all. Next chapter, Goku's turned berserk! It's up to Sanzo and the others to stop him! And what will Sanzo say to Goku afterwards that will make up Goku's mind about Homura's offer? Stay tuned for chapter four: Unleashed! Thanks again! Mata ne!


	4. Unleashed

**Title: Gone Astray**

**Author: annadiel**

**Disclaimer: Saiyuki and all of its characters are not my property. The only thing I can call my own is the story of this fic. And if this fic resembles anything you've read before, then it's purely coincidental.**

**Synopsis: Goku gets separated from Sanzo and the others in a big bazaar. Homura seizes this opportunity to persuade Goku once more to come with him. And this time, Goku seems to agree with him. Will Goku leave his mission and come with the god?**

**Warning:** This chapter contains some extreme violence. If you're not up to reading about blood, gore and mutilation, then please, I ask you to leave. But if you're up to it (and I think you are), then please go on.

Here's chapter four! Goku's gone wild! And he is on a killing spree! How will Sanzou-tachi stop him? How will these turn of events cause even more problems for poor Goku? Please read on! Dozo!

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**IV. Unleashed**

"NOOOOOO!" screamed Goku.

Homura then let go of the boy's wrists. As Goku fell to the ground below, he looked at Homura. The toushin was smiling the same tender smile at him. Then his vision started to dim; he was slowly absorbed in darkness.

_Sanzo, Hakkai, Gojyo, I'm sorry..._

The childish Goku, the one full of innocence and liveliness, was soon trapped within his subconscious. The other Goku, a vicious, menacing killer, came out of its shell, disturbed from its slumber, intent on killing everyone in its way.

Seiten Taisei Son Goku had been unleashed.

Not far away, the trio saw Goku as he was falling to the ground.

"Goku!" Hakkai cried out. The three of them ran towards him, hoping to get below him in time to be able to catch him. But they were too late. Goku crashed on the ground, sending clouds of dust that surrounded him. The people ran away just in time to avoid the falling body.

"Oh no, Goku!" said Gojyo. But before the three of them got anywhere near him, they sensed an evil aura, an aura so ominous that they couldn't do anything but feel frightened.

_Where? Where is it coming from?_ thought Hakkai. And they at last felt where the source of the aura was. Just in front of them.

"Ne, Hakkai, isn't this feeling familiar?" asked Gojyo, "This feels like the time when that baka-saru's transformed."

"Then is Goku--?" said Hakkai. They looked at Goku, but the cloud of dust hadn't cleared yet. But the feeling was certain. There was really an evil aura, and it was coming from somewhere near Goku. Or most probably, it was coming from Goku himself.

Homura went down in front of Sanzo and the others. He held the diadem in front for them to see. Their doubts sealed, Gojyo asked furiously, "Why the hell are you doing this?"

"I just want Goku to get used to the powers he possesses," answered Homura calmly.

It was Hakkai's turn to get angry. "And what about all of the people here?"

The god smiled. "I don't care. Let them be prey to the predator."

"But all of them are innocent!"

"I said I don't care. Stop him if you want to protect these people, people you don't even know." He then turned back, and saw that the dust had cleared. "Well, then, let the fun begin." He disappeared.

"O-oi! Don't leave the mess you created to us! Come back!" shouted the redhead.

Suddenly, they saw Goku stand up. His hair was now long, his nails sharp, and ears pointed. He looked at all the people, and a demonic smile formed on his lips.

"Y-youkai!" one person shouted aloud.

"Everybody run!" said another.

The people were on a stampede. They were running to all directions. The women were screaming, and the children crying. Hearing all these noise made Goku annoyed, so he turned to the people and was about to attack them. But a bullet sped towards him. He sensed it, and was able to dodge it easily. He turned to where it came, and saw the monk pointing a gun at him.

"Just where do you think you're going, saru?" said Sanzo.

Goku smiled at him. This annoyed Sanzo, and he fired his gun again at the boy. Goku dodged it again, and this time he sped towards Sanzo.

_Oh shit_, said Sanzo.

Gojyo and Hakkai went in front of Sanzo to defend him. The redhead tried to attack Goku with his shakujo, but Goku got hold of the chain. This started a tug-of-war between them, and Goku was on the winning side.

"Damn you, saru!" said Gojyo, "I won't let you win this time!"

But at last, Goku was able to overpower him; he pulled the chain hard, which sent Gojyo flying towards him. The next thing Gojyo felt was a blow in the stomach. He then was thrown away by Goku.

"Gojyo!" yelled Hakkai. In an instant, Goku was before him. He had no time to react; he then received a very hard kick to his side. In just seconds, Gojyo and Hakkai were down. Goku's path to Sanzo was open.

Sanzo shot his gun again and again at Goku, but all of them were eluded by the nimble youkai. He ran out of bullets and had no time to reload; seconds later Goku was at his face.

"Oh no, Sanzo!" yelled Hakkai as he stood up and tried to rush towards Sanzo. But to their surprise, the boy just passed by the monk.

"What the…" was what Sanzo could mutter.

Then they saw where Goku was headed to.

_The townspeople! _thought Sanzo.

Goku was able to catch one guy running. He held the man by the neck as the man was pleading for his life. But no pleas would ever reach to Goku's heart; in fact, he was heartless. He squeezed the man's neck, causing it to burst open. That was the end of the man. Blood gushed out of the opened wound, and when Goku saw this, his eyes were full of delight. He tore off the man's neck and drank all the blood that came out. He tore off an arm and began to eat it greedily. Everyone near him saw this, and was full of fright. People became more panicked and started to run faster. Goku did not let some do so, for in an instant, he was on them. On one he took an arm, on another he first took of an entire leg, and feasted on the thigh. Others he just killed for fun. While doing this, he was laughing hysterically. He was soaked by the blood of the people he killed.

"This…this is totally insane!" said Gojyo as he stood up.

"Did Goku do this before?" asked a bewildered Hakkai. "Usually he would kill the threats around him…"

Sanzo had the answer to his question. "Goku is hungry."

"WHAT?" shouted Gojyo, "Even in demon form, he's still hungry?"

"He was not able to eat enough the whole day, was he? Eating to survive is one of the basic instincts of an animal. In this case, Goku," explained Hakkai.

As they were talking, more people became victim to Goku. The young youkai was merciless in killing all of his victims; tearing off their limbs one by one, and if he liked the scent of that particular being, he took a bite out of it.

Hakkai, Gojyo, and even Sanzo, were horrified at this scene before them.

"We must stop him, now!" said Hakkai, "Otherwise he will kill everyone in this town!"

"But how?" asked Gojyo irritated, "We can't even lay a hand on him. Sanzo?"

Sanzo was silent for a moment. Then finally he said, "I'm going to use the Maten Kyoumon."

The two were stunned at Sanzo's idea. "But that thing kills a demon in an instant!" spoke Gojyo, "Can't you think of a better idea?"

"Can you?" Sanzo asked back. The two were silent. "Then it's settled. You two, try to distract and immobilize him while I mutter my chant. Then lead him to me. I'll take it from there."

"Feh, you sound like it's easy for us to do," grumbled the redhead.

"Okay, we'll try," said Hakkai. They then ran towards Goku and tried to get his attention.

Goku was on his latest victim when he sensed an object flying towards him. He let go of his victim and evaded the shakujo just in time.

"Oi, baka-saru!" shouted Gojyo, "I'm your opponent from now on!"

Goku was pissed off by what Gojyo did. But when he was about to attack Gojyo, a beam of light struck him, sending him crashing to a building nearby. The impact he made with the building was so powerful the whole building collapsed, burying the boy under.

"Count me in, Gojyo!" Hakkai said. "I'm sorry to do that to you Goku, but I need to keep you from killing more people. You killed more than enough."

The rubble started to move, and Goku was able to stand again, barely scratched at all. He was mad now, and he turned to his second instinct: eliminate all immediate threats. He was suddenly gone.

"W-where did he go?" asked Hakkai, astonished.

Just then, a shadow appeared before Gojyo. Goku was in front of him! Gojyo was able to evade Goku's attack, but hardly. The two then started to run towards Sanzo, who by then signaled to them. Luckily, Goku followed them. As Goku attacked, they tried hard to dodge them all. How they were able to do that, they were not sure, but the good thing was they did. They were already near Sanzo, and then when Goku was to strike them yet again, they ran to opposite sides. Goku was now in front of Sanzo, who by then had finished chanting.

"It's time to go, saru," said the monk. "MA KAI TEN JA!"

The scroll then surrounded Goku. Its power was starting to seep inside of him, and he shrieked; it was too painful. Sanzo then stood in front of the boy. He stared at him first; Goku stared back, anger filled his eyes.

Sanzo thought, _Why the hell is that god doing this to you? What did he say to you this time?_

The monk then placed his hand on Goku's forehead, and a diadem, just like the first one, appeared on it. He then withdrew the scroll, sending Goku to land flat on the floor.

It was over.

Gojyo felt lighter after seeing that Goku was back to normal. But he was also amazed at what Sanzo did. "How the hell did you learn that, eh, Sanzo-sama?"

Sanzo just looked at him. He then lit a cigarette and started to smoke.

"Tch, fine, monk," said Gojyo, "I'm not expecting for answers or anything."

Hakkai took the unconscious Goku. "Anyway, let's get out of here. We can't let Goku see this mess. Hakuryuu!"

Hakuryuu heard the voice of its master and turned into a jeep. Hakkai placed Goku at the back seat, and the other two sat inside. Before going, Hakkai asked Sanzo, "Would you at least pray for the departed souls of these people before we go?"

Sanzo, despite showing resentment, prayed just the same. After that, they left.

--0--

Not far from where they were, Homura watched them. He was amused with all that had happened.

"Now Goku, what will you do? You will have no choice but to come to me for help."

Shortly after, Zenon and Shien appeared behind him.

"Looks like you're truly delighted to see all of these, huh, Homura?" said Zenon.

"Ma," Homura replied. "Let's go. After some time we'll come and fetch Goku."

Then they disappeared.

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Okay, that'll be all for this chapter. I pity Hakkai, screaming like that most of the time. Let's keep the suspense to the next chapter, where Sanzo, Hakkai, and Gojyo will say some things that will affect Goku's decision as to whether he will come with Homura or not. I apologize for the scenes depicted here in this chapter (although I think they were not that descriptive and all). I also apologize for the lack of more in-depth details to the entire story. I promise if I get the chance to edit them, I will. So please continue reading! Thanks for the reviews!

Next chapter: Decision!


	5. Decision

**Title: Gone Astray**

**Author: annadiel**

**Disclaimer: Saiyuki and all of its characters are not my property. The only thing I can call my own is the story of this fic. And if this fic resembles anything you've read before, then it's purely coincidental.**

**Synopsis: Goku gets separated from Sanzo and the others in a big bazaar. Homura seizes this opportunity to persuade Goku once more to come with him. And this time, Goku seems to agree with him. Will Goku leave his mission and come with the god?**

HAROU! At last, chapter 5 is here! This time, let us look into the story through Goku's eyes. It'll be easier for us to understand how Goku feels this way.

Sorry if the update took so long. I had many problems these past few weeks, like my computer breaking down, exams in many courses, and the like. But anyway, it's here! Dozo!

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**V. Decision (Goku POV)**

I'm in a dark and lonely place. I can't see anything.

Why am I in here? I don't know…

…Wait, I remember. The other me got out, and I was put here in exchange.

I start to walk, although I'm not really sure if I'm going anywhere since it's too dark. I'm pretty sure that my feet are moving, though. I feel as if I'm inside a cave. And I know that every cave has an exit where light passes through. I just hope I can find that exit. I hope I can find that light sooner.

Not long after, I hear something. It sounds like someone eating, chomping on its food greedily. And I smell blood. Lots of blood. Not just the blood of any animal, but that of people. Lots of them. I continue to the source of the sound. As I walk, I begin to see a tinge of light.

It's the exit, at last!

But that someone is blocking the way. It is still feeding on human flesh. And with that little light shining, I can see piles of dead bodies surrounding it. Did he kill all of these people? Just for food, or fun? He must be a really evil demon.

It seems to have felt my presence, for it stopped eating and looked at me…

…This can't be…It's impossible…

I'm looking at…myself?

Baka na. I will never kill humans. I will never feast on their flesh…

…But then, my other self probably will.

The other me gazed at me; he looked angry. His eyes say it all.

"I will not let you get out of here. I have been freed. I will not let you lock me up in here again."

He's able to say those words by just looking at me. I understand what he must feel. It is really hard to be imprisoned in darkness. It is hard not to be able to reach out to the world. It is hard being alone. But if I let him out, who can tell if he's not going to kill everyone?

But then again, who am I to say that?

He is a part of me, after all.

Maybe he's right. Maybe he should have his freedom. I have had my share of it anyway, ever since Sanzo pulled me out of that darkness…

…Sanzo…? Sanzo! And the others! If this other me is indeed free, then they must be fighting him right now! And maybe he's hurting them and giving them a hard time! Then I must stop him!

I continue to walk to the exit. But the other me sensed what I was about to do. He stood up and started to attack me. I try hard to evade everything. But I can't dodge them all.

Is this how he fights? Is this how I fight when I go crazy? No wonder Sanzo and the others have a hard time stopping me. The more that I should hurry and get to them.

But he was able to to pounce me on the ground. I try to stand up and throw him over, but his grip is too strong. Why? Am I this weak? Why can't I fight him? Why can't I control him?

Just as he is about to bury his sharp nails in me, he suddenly stopped. Time suddenly stopped.

"Stand up! Run!" a voice called out.

I then slide out of the other me's hold and run as fast as I can towards the exit. As I run, I notice the cave slowly collapsing. When I look at the exit, I see a figure of a man outside. Maybe he's the one who called me. I can't see his face though. He then lays his hand in front of me.

I take his hand. He pulls me out of the cave as it collapsed. And light floods the whole place.

—0—

I suddenly open my eyes. I find myself on a bed, covered with a blanket up to my shoulders. I hear birds chirping, and light and a soft breeze enters the window beside the bed. It's already morning.

I've been dreaming.

I sit up, and my whole body started to ache. What happened to me? Just then I hear the door open.

"…Goku?" It's Hakkai. He then approaches me and helps me lay down again. "Don't sit so abruptly. You attained more damage than you think you had."

"What happened?" I ask. "I remember Homura taking my diadem off, and…"

No more. I can't remember anything else after that. But I'm sure of one thing. "I attacked you again, didn't I?"

Hakkai looked at me with pity. It took a moment before he answered. "Well…yes."

"I thought so…"

But Hakkai then smiled at me and said, "But you did not attack us that hard unlike before. Maybe you were able to hold yourself from the inside. Gojyo and I only suffered minor injuries and a few scratches. Sanzo is—"

"Sanzo? Is he okay?" I suddenly blurt out once I heard Sanzo's name.

"Sanzo is fine, Goku," Hakkai assured me, "In fact, you didn't do anything to him at all."

"I…did not hurt him?"

"No. He sure is one lucky guy. After that, we left the town and found this house while driving by the forest."

The town--? "What happened to the town? The people?"

Hakkai stopped, his face serious for a moment. But then he smiled, "They're fine. But with them finding out you're a demon, I don't think they will ever let you set foot on that town again."

"I see…" Hearing Hakkai say that makes me feel better. I know he will not lie to me. I think it's also better if I don't return to that town ever again. I then ask, "Ne, how long have I been sleeping? And where's Gojyo and Sanzo?"

"You were asleep for four days. Sanzo's in another room, and I had Gojyo get us some food."

Gojyo's the one getting food? Just thinking of that makes me laugh. "You made Gojyo do what? How were you able to convince him?"

"A little trick of my own," answered Hakkai, almost chuckling, "You know how I can be convincing sometimes." We then look at each other, and laugh. Then Hakkai continued, "We're lucky we found this house. Maybe a family lived here before, since it's too big for just one person. It has three bedrooms, you know. I think this has only been abandoned recently, what with demons frequently running around. The house is not that dirty. There are still some utensils left in the kitchen, and the water supply is still working. I suggest you go take a look at it once you're healed." Hakkai then stood up and walked towards the door. "Well, I guess you're now okay. But still, have some rest. When Gojyo arrives, I'll have some food for you."

"Hakkai," I say as he was about to go out, "Thanks…for stopping me this time."

He smiled. "That was my promise to you before, right?" He then left.

That's nice. I didn't hurt Sanzo. Hakkai's and Gojyo's injuries are not severe. And the people are safe.

I'm glad they were able to stop me. Maybe I was able to restrain my demon self that time, so less harm was done. And maybe eventually I can control my powers with me retaining this state of mind.

Oh, right, I wasn't able to see the face of the man who helped me escape. Who else will do that for me? Of course, no one else but Sanzo. He's freed me before, and I know he'll do it again in case I get caught or something. That's right. That man in my dream is Sanzo.

Will I see him if I go to sleep? Maybe it's okay for me to sleep again…

—0—

I wake up at the sound of thunder.

There was no dream. I try to move; there's no more pain. I guess I'm okay now.

I hear water continuously dropping. The room is dark. I sit up and look outside the window. It's raining real hard.

Yabe. I'm sure Sanzo's in a bad mood. It seems I can't talk to him right now.

A flicker of light enters the room. I look at its direction. Hakkai is at the door, holding a candle.

"You slept so long," he said as he placed the candle on the chair beside the bed. "Does your body still hurt?"

"No, I'm okay," I reply. Gojyo then enters the room. "Oi, saru!" he said, "Looks like you're okay now, eh?" He's smiling half-teasingly.

"Of course! I'm strong, you know! A lot stronger than you all are!"

I notice Gojyo's smile fade away. He looked at me, somewhat more serious than before. I wonder why? "Uh, Gojyo?"

Hearing my voice, he again smiled, and said, "Uh, yeah, you're one strong monkey. But you're still stupid!"

I get angry at what he told me. "Don't call me stupid, you ero-kappa!"

I expected an angry answer from him. But he just said, "Fine, fine."

Eh? Gojyo didn't call me other names? Hen na mono. This is totally weird.

"Anyway, I'll just bring your dinner here," told Hakkai, He then went out of the room. Gojyo followed him.

What's with them? They all seem different, even Gojyo. They aren't their normal selves. And I bet even Sanzo is in this way.

Is it because of the rain? Nah, Gojyo's not gonna be affected by that.

Is it because of my condition? Maybe. Well, if that's the case, they're too nice.

Hakkai enters the room with a tray full of food on his hands. "Here Goku," and he puts the tray on my lap. "I'll be returning to the living room. If you're done, just shout out and I'll come get the tray so you won't have to stand up. Okay?" I nod. He smiles and then leaves the room. I then start to eat.

They're really weird. Okay, they are caring for me, but that seems too much. They're just too…kind.

I look at my food. And for the first time, I think the food's too many. I don't think I want to eat all of this. So I set the tray aside and put it on the floor.

"HA---" No. I better not call him. He'll be worried if he sees that I did not finish eating. I'll just bring the tray to the kitchen myself.

I stand up. My body still feels heavy, but I can manage. I take the tray and go out of the room.

It wasn't that hard to find the kitchen 'cause I can smell the scent of the food from there. I place the tray on the sink. But when I was about to go back to my room, I hear Gojyo and Hakkai talking. They're in the living room just beside the kitchen.

"What's Goku doin'?" I hear Gojyo ask.

Thay're talking about...me?

"He's eating right now," Hakkai answered. "How did it go at the town?"

"Still lots of mourning. You know that Goku killed a lot of people in there. Lucky that I wasn't noticed or remembered as 'that youkai's companion', or something like that, and it's good that somehow business is still going on, so I was able to buy what we need."

I…I killed a lot of people? Did I hear that right? B-but Hakkai said the town was okay! I didn't hurt anyone from there! So he was lying all the time?

"I see…"

"Ne, Hakkai, did that saru ask anything?"

"Of course he did. I just told him what he should know, what he should believe that had happened."

"So you lied to him?"

"Yes."

So he did lie to me. And I thought he won't ever do that. I was wrong.

"What else did you tell him?"

"That we were able to stop him easily. Maybe he thinks that he somehow managed to control himself."

"And wasn't he able to? His attacks didn't hurt that bad, after all."

"That's not the case. It's just that we're stronger now. And we already fought him before. Maybe Goku hasn't improved that greatly, so we were able to stop him. I just don't know what will happen next time…"

"…I mean, what if he goes berserk in a big town again? Definitely by that time he has surpassed his present strength and power. And we'll surely have a hard time stopping him, if we are able to, anyway."

"Isn't there any other way? Maybe Sanzo can use the Maten Kyoumon on him again."

What the--? Sanzo used the scroll to stop me? But he could have killed me then! Didn't they know that? Did they forget that?

"That's a good option, but we're not sure if that will work again."

"So what now? Kill him?"

"I wouldn't want to do that, but if there's no other choice, we can't help it. We have to."

"Hey, hey! I was just joking! We can't kill him! I mean, he's our companion! We need him on this journey!"

"But what if he himself becomes the hindrance for us to continue this journey?"

"I know, but…ah, okay Hakkai, you win. Now that you say that, I'm really starting to hate that demon Goku. He's really getting on my nerves. What's wrong with that gaki anyway? If he can't control his powers, then it's better if he doesn't have them…"

"…"

—0—

I'm back at my room.

Hakkai and Gojyo. They're thinking of ways to kill me. They really want to get rid of me don't they? All of these, this care, this pity, what are they, anyway? Why are they doing this to me? It's not that I really want to hurt them. I just can't control my powers. And now they're starting to hate me. Maybe Gojyo is right. I shouldn't have these powers if I can't control them. But kill me as an option? What do they think I am, just a puppet that they can carry and at the same time discard that easily?

They don't care for me. I'm just some puppet to them.

That's right. I can't trust them anymore.

But Sanzo using the scroll to stop me, did he really try to get rid of me? I don't think he really meant to. But I know how Sanzo fights. Without hesitation, without fear, without any consideration for his enemy. And at that moment, I was his enemy.

Maybe I should go ask him. I have to risk it. I should know the truth now.

I go to his room. He's looking outside through the window. The rain still hasn't stop.

"Sanzo…"

"What are you doing here?" he suddenly asks me, angrily.

"You…you used the scroll to stop me?"

He didn't answer.

"I heard Hakkai and Gojyo talk about that a while ago. They said you did that. You wouldn't want to kill me, right? You were just trying to stop me, right? Sanzo—"

"Who said I was holding back? Why wouldn't I want to kill you? You were a threat. You must be stopped. Consider yourself lucky you're still alive."

"But, you're joking, right? You don't know what you're saying right now. Maybe it's because of the rain—"

"And now you blame it on the rain? The rain may make me moody, but that doesn't mean I don't mean anything that I'm saying. Stupid. Now get out of this room before I kill you!"

"But Sanzo, I want to know the truth!"

BAM.

A bullet just barely missed my temple.

Sanzo…shot me?

"The truth? That's the truth."

I collapsed on the floor. He shot me. Sanzo shot me. He really tried to kill me.

Why is all of this happening?

Is it because I can't control my powers? Is it because I can't remember anything about myself? But it's not my fault!

I don't want to be treated this way!

If they just treat me this way, then it's better if he hadn't freed me. It's better to stay in the darkness than be exposed to the light but let my life be stained with much more darkness.

I hear footsteps. Hakkai and Gojyo enter the room. Hakkai approaches me and asks, "Sanzo? We heard a gunshot from the living room…Goku? What are you doing here? Are you okay?"

As if he really cares. You liar. All of you are liars.

"Go away."

"Goku…?"

"All of you are liars."

Sanzo then says, "If you think that way, then YOU go away."

What? He wants me to what?

"I said go away. I don't need you. Go anywhere but near me. Kill if you like. Die if you like. Just go away."

"Sanzo, that's too harsh!" I hear Hakkai say.

But I don't care now. I walk away from them.

"Oi saru! Where are you going?"

"To my room…"

—0—

The rain hasn't stopped. I remain seated on the bed.

The world is full of liars. That counts even the people I thought I can fully trust.

I hate them. I hate their pride. I hate every bit of their personality.

That man in my dream…wasn't Sanzo after all. Who else, then?

…Homura?

I remember his tender smile, his calm personality. I remember his promise to me. And somehow, I feel that now he's the only one I can trust. He really cares for me. I know. It shows. I just can't bring myself to believe him then, being attached to Sanzo and the others.

But now's different. Sanzo himself said that he doesn't need me at all. Then I think it's alright for me to go.

Homura, where are you?

Please, come get me already…

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Whew! Yay! Chapter 5's done! Hope you liked that! Goku's now made up his mind to come with Homura! That's good! I'll make sure Homura takes better care of him! Will Sanzo, Gojyo, and Hakkai realize what they just did to poor Goku? I hope they will! Please stay tuned to the next chapter, where the war gods and Sanzo's party clash! And this time, Goku will be on the other side! Next chapter: Betrayal!


	6. Betrayal

**Title: Gone Astray**

**Author: annadiel**

**Disclaimer: Saiyuki and all of its characters are not my property. The only thing I can call my own is the story of this fic. And if this fic resembles anything you've read before, then it's purely coincidental.**

**Synopsis: Goku gets separated from Sanzo and the others in a big bazaar. Homura seizes this opportunity to persuade Goku once more to come with him. And this time, Goku seems to agree with him. Will Goku leave his mission and come with the god?**

This question will now be answered.

Previously, Goku's very vulnerable heart had been unknowingly crushed by his companions. And because of this, Goku's hard-as-rock belief in them had been smashed as well. Now he only looks up to Homura and is planning to go to him. What will the remaining three do about it?

Let's all read on…

(I again apologize for the very late update, but it's really hard for me to do so regularly, since the semester's almost at end and projects and reports keep on piling up…)

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**VI. Betrayal**

"I said go away. I don't need you," an infuriated Sanzo said to Goku, "Go anywhere but near me. Kill if you like. Die if you like…"

"..Just go away."

Those words instantly shattered Goku. He didn't think Sanzo would actually say the words he had been afraid to hear from him.

Even Hakkai and Gojyo were surprised by Sanzo's words. "Sanzo, that's too harsh!" said Hakkai.

And then, they noticed Goku stand up. The boy left the room.

Gojyo asked, "Oi, saru! Where are you going?"

"To my room…" answered Goku wearily.

"Goku!" Gojyo was about to follow Goku, but Hakkai got hold of his shoulder. "Hakkai…"

Hakkai shook his head. "Don't follow him, Gojyo. Leave him be."

"But—" Hakkai's grip on his shoulder became tighter. "…Okay, then." The redhead then turned to Sanzo and told him, "You watch your mouth, monk."

"You didn't have to say that, Sanzo," added Hakkai.

"Tch," was all that Sanzo replied.

At that moment, Hakkai and Gojyo went out of the room, with Gojyo muttering, "…Damn this rain…"

—0—

As they walked, Gojyo said to Hakkai, "That kid, he called us liars."

"Aa," replied Hakkai, "That means he must have heard us a while ago."

"Maybe we should go tell sorry."

"No. Not now. His heart is closed to anything right at this moment. We should leave him by himself tonight."

"Fine…"

The two of them then went to the other vacant room and settled down for the night.

—0—

Goku was in deep thought that night. The noise created by the rain had also produced a melancholic silence that filled the place.

This turn of events for him was unexpected. It didn't occur to him that his companions thought of him that way.

_Homura, where are you?_ Goku thought. _Please, come get me already…_

He then recalled what he said to Homura before.

"_**I will not go anywhere unless Sanzo tells me so!"**_

And Sanzo wanted him to go away.

If that's that, then that's that. Goku's tolerance was already beyond its limit.

His sun had stopped shining for him. He was now back in the darkness that, for five hundred years, had been his sole companion, and at this moment was trying to embrace him once again.

—0—

In the castle where the war gods stayed, it seemed that something was new. Zenon and Shien noticed something different with Homura.

He was very happy.

It was like he was too excited about something. Yes, the toushin remained his calm self, but his smile was wider than before. And his eyes were half-shut from smiling like that. That alone was so unusual for someone like him.

"You look so happy today, Homura," noted Shien, "Did something good happen?"

"Not yet," Homura answered, "But it's coming, and it's really a good thing for us."

"That sure sounds nice," Zenon said, "Hope it happens sooner!"

Upon hearing Zenon say that, Homura stoodfrom his seat and walked towards the door. "Well then, why not make it sooner?"

Zenon smirked. " 'Thought you'd say that." Then the two of them followed Homura and went out of their base.

—0—

The next day, the rain had stopped. The sun shone again in its full glory, slowly filling the world with its heat and light.

This was a sign for Sanzo's group to get going. It would just be another common doing for them, like those other stops they made before. But with all that had happened last night, everything would be entirely different.

Especially with Goku.

During breakfast, only Gojyo and Hakkai were at the dining room. As they were eating, Goku showed up, already dressed and ready to leave. He passed by them and continued towards the door leading outside.

"Oi, Goku!" Gojyo called out, "Aren't you gonna eat breakfast?" But Goku kept on walking, as if he hadn't heard anything at all.

"Eh?" Gojyo was surprised. "He totally ignored me, and even the one thing he loved most: food." He gave a smile and looked at Hakkai. The latter's face didn't show any change in expression; it was the same like it was when the day started: sad and disturbed. Gojyo had somewhat expected a laugh, or even just a faint smile from his friend, with that comment he made. And because of Hakkai's reaction, or lack of it, he realized it was the wrong time to say anything funny, or anything at all.

Seeing that they were the only two eating, he then asked, "Hey, where's Hakuryuu?"

"Outside," answered Hakkai vaguely, "I had him ready earlier."

"And that monk?"

"Also outside…"

—0—

Goku was a bit surprised when he came outside. Before him, seated inside the jeep, was Sanzo. On seeing the monk, his anger was rekindled. But he chose not to say anything as he reluctantly boarded the jeep.

Last night, Goku promised himself that he would wait for Homura. He told himself that while Homura wasn't there for him yet, he would try to bear being with this group, as he wouldn't have anywhere to go to. No matter how hard he wanted to run away, he couldn't, for where would he go? He didn't know where, and how, to find Homura.

And so he would wait.

Moments later, Hakkai and Gojyo went out of the house. "Let's go," Hakkai said. They then got in the jeep and drove out of the forest.

—0—

The journey was a very silent one. No word came out of their mouths. The only things one would hear were the sounds of nature itself and the continuous humming of the jeep. But even though no sound was heard from them, one would feel Goku's mixed feelings of anger and sadness, Hakkai's pity, Gojyo and Sanzo's irritability.

A while after, the forest was behind them. They entered an open grassy field, more or less filled with pillars of stone weathered through time. The group felt the searing heat of the sun at the moment they entered this area, with the lack of the forest trees that gave shade to them and provided them with a cool breeze.

The silence around them should have continued, but unexpected visitors were there waiting for them.

A large group of about seventy youkai were before them. "Hey, look!" one of them shouted, "It's the Sanzo-ikkou!"

"What luck!" said another one, "Let's get 'em!"

Upon seeing the demons, Hakkai stopped the jeep. "Looks like we got company."

"Yeah, yeah," told Gojyo, "I s'pose we should clean this up--"

"Get out of the way, you youkai." Goku suddenly blurted out, interrupting Gojyo. The redhead gave a surprised look at him, but what surprised him more was the strong fury that showed in the kid's eyes.

"Get outta the way, you say?" said the first youkai, "No way, gaki! You're ours!" With this said, the youkai group rushed towards them and were about to attack.

The four of them landed on their feet as the jeep transformed back into Hakuryuu. They braced themselves for the attack and went to different directions for preparation, but before anything reached them, the demons at the far back were killed apparently with lashings of whips. The other demons were taken aback at this surprise attack, but before they could even see who or what killed their companions, they were shot to death, in which the bullets seemed to have come out of a sub-machine gun.

"What the hell--?" The youkai in front were first aghast, then frightened. "Let's get out of here!" The few left ran away from the scene, yet their attempt to escape was in vain. Moments later they were engulfed in a fire that came out of nowhere, turning them into ashes.

As the fire died, Sanzo's group saw who was behind it all. What beheld them were the three war gods.

Goku was surprised upon seeing them. _Homura...!_

The toushin looked at Goku. He noticed that the sparkle in the kid's eyes, the sparkle that made those eyes very expressive, was gone without a trace. Seeing this, the events of the night before were made clear to him.

"Hello," he greeted.

"Eh? What was that?" said Gojyo.

"'Twas a greeting, redhead," replied Zenon, "Can't you tell?" With Zenon saying that to him, Gojyo cursed.

"It was unnecessary for you to come," told Hakkai, "We can take care of those pests ourselves."

"We came here because of two things," continued Homura, ignoring everything that was said earlier, "But we'll leave when we get even just one of them."

"And just what are these things?" asked Gojyo.

Just then, Zenon and Shien appeared in front of Gojyo and Hakkai.

"Long time no see, Sha Gojyo," said Zenon, "Well then, why don't we make this meeting a nice one?"

"...Nice?" Gojyo answered back, "Since when did meeting you become nice?"

To Hakkai, Shien politely said, mixed with a little bit of sarcasm, "Pleased to fight you, Cho Hakkai."

"I throw that back to you," replied Hakkai.

With these said, the fight began.

Shien brought out his trusty whips and started to lash them at Hakkai. Hakkai protected himself using his barrier. On the other hand, Gojyo attacked Zenon using his shakujo, and Zenon dodged every attack as he fired his gun.

While all of these were happening, Homura walked towards Goku and Sanzo, who stood almost near each other. He looked at Goku in particular, Goku doing the same. Sanzo could only assume what was going on between them.

"Well then, Goku, shall we?" asked Homura.

On hearing this, the three thought Homura was about to fight Goku and take him again. Sanzo got his gun and pointed it at the toushin. "Just what do you think are you going to do?" he shouted.

Goku looked at the monk indifferently. Homura did the same, and said, "What's that for? I thought you told me before that you don't care a bit for this 'brat'."

"He...he said what?" Goku then muttered as he heard what Homura said.

"I forgot to tell you, didn't I?" Homura talked back to Goku, "I had a talk with him before, and what you heard from me came out of his very mouth."

The anger that Goku was feeling since last night was back. _Why? Isn't it enough for Sanzo to tell to my face to go away?_ he thought, _Does he have to tell everyone that I'm useless to him? _

_Including even Homura?_

_Is this how everything should be?_ _If this is what he wants, then FINE!_

--0--

Shien continued on attacking Hakkai using his whips. Hakkai defended, watching and waiting for an opening. He found one, and at the right moment, he withdrew his shield and created an energy ball that he used at the god. Shien noticed it a bit too late, and was thrown back by the attack. Meanwhile, Gojyo was also able to fend off Zenon using his weapon, and with these done, the two of them rushed towards where Homura and their companions were.

"Let's go, Hakkai!" shouted Gojyo.

"Right!" Hakkai replied.

Hakkai created another energy ball and sent it towards Homura. The toushin evaded it easily. Gojyo then used his shakujo, but also in vain. Missing the toushin made him very pissed off.

"Oi, baka-saru!" the redhead shouted at Goku, "Why're you just standing there? Go on and fight this god!"

At this statement, Goku became more furious. _What the hell? Did this guy just command me to fight? Do I exist just to fight for them? Is this my only worth? Damn them all!_

Gojyo looked at Goku and saw that he was still passive. He then continued his fight with Homura. Hakkai was giving his all at the toushin, while the toushin was obviously playing with him. Seeing that Homura was distracted in fighting Hakkai, Gojyo thought it was the right time to attack. He launched his shakujo at Homura. But Homura sensed it coming.

_Damn! _thought Gojyo. Then he saw that instead of evading his attack, Homura just smiled at him. This surprised Gojyo. _This guy's crazy. Does he want to die?--_

Just then he noticed a shadow come in between his approaching shakujo and Homura. That someone blocked the incoming weapon. Gojyo wondered who it was, Shien or Zenon.

But when he saw the figure clearly, he, Hakkai, and Sanzo, were shocked.

Goku held on to his nyoibou as he blocked the shakujo. He looked sternly at Gojyo.

"What the--" Gojyo blurted out, "What the heck are you doing, baka-sa--?"

"Don't just tell me what I'm supposed to do!" Goku shouted back, "Don't command me as if I belong to you!"

"Eh?" Gojyo was confused. He then withdrew his shakujo.

Goku then took an attacking stance. "This is your chance to kill me, Sha Gojyo, Cho Hakkai."

Hakkai was surprised. "But Goku--"

"This was what you wanted to do, right, Hakkai?" Goku answered back, "I'm giving you the chance now."

"--But I didn't mean--"

"It's damn too late for apologies!" Goku started to run towards Hakkai and was about to attack. Gojyo got in front of him just in time to protect Hakkai. Goku then attacked Gojyo first, but Gojyo blocked his nyoibou. The kid jumped back and braced himself. Gojyo then released his weapon at Goku, but before it reached its target, Goku disappeared. He then showed up already beside Gojyo and beat the redhead out. Done with Gojyo, he then raced to Hakkai, as the latter put up his shield. "Too weak," muttered Goku, and even as Hakkai finished putting up the shield, it was then destroyed by Goku.

"How did--" Hakkai was not able to finish his statement as Goku continuously attacked him. He wasn't able to do anything, and turned unconscious, bloodied and severely wounded, just like Gojyo.

"What's this?" said Goku as he knelt before Hakkai's body, "They're so weak. How come they survived this long? Just because of me?" He then gave an eerie smile. But when he was about to stand up, he felt a round metal object against the back of his head. Sanzohad his gun pointed at the kid.

"Who's damn weak?" he then said to Goku.

Goku faced him, the gun still directed at him. He said to the monk, "Go on, Genjou Sanzo. Shoot. That's what you want to do, right?" The eerie smile was still on his lips.

Sanzo got distracted by this smile. And for some reason, he couldn't shoot his gun. _Fuck, what's happening to me? Come on, monk, or you'll die..._

"Can't shoot?" said Goku, "That's not like you, Sanzo." It was then that Sanzo noticed the change in Goku's eyes.

_Tch. This kid, he's changed overnight_, thought Sanzo,_ What did he do? What did **I** do?..._

_...Never mind. I'll try to get him back..._

He then lowered his gun. "Goku--"

"Bad choice," a voice that came from behind said. And as Sanzo looked at its direction, Homura was there. Seconds later his sword was inside Sanzo's body. As Homura removed the blade, blood spurted out. Sanzo fell down on the grass as his blood rushed out, staining the green grass with crimson color.

_Go...ku..._

Sanzo, Hakkai, and Gojyo were down. Wounded and bloodied. Attacked by their own companion, who they themselves had unknowingly attacked straight to the heart the night before.

Zenon and Shien, who stood by and just watched what happened, appeared beside Homura. "Whew, that was awesome, kid!" Zenon said to Goku.

Homura then approached Goku. And again, he placed his hand before the kid. "If your mind's already settled, you know what to do."

"Aa," Goku said.

He took Homura's hand. With that done, Homura was very much pleased.

The almost unconscious Sanzo saw everything. "What...is this...Goku...?"

Goku looked down at Sanzo. "You wanted me to go away. I'll do so right now. Next time we meet, we'll be enemies, Genjou Sanzo." And behind Goku, Homura gave Sanzo a smile.

_Looks like it's my victory_, was the message of the smile to Sanzo.

The four then walked away from the scene. And as they disappeared before him, Sanzo said something, almost inaudibly that no one but himself had heard it.

"...Goku...wait..."

"...come back..."

-----------------------------------------

At last! I think Goku here is OOC, but after suffering emotionally, who wouldn't be like that? He's now officially a part of Homura's group. And at the last part, Sanzo seemed to realize that what he did was terribly wrong. We're now down to the last three chapters. Next chapter, the three will think about what they did to poor Goku, and also about what they will do to convince him back to them. I think I'll focus more on Sanzo next time. And Homura will give Goku his first assignment: getting the Maten Kyoumon. Thanks for reading! Until next time!

Next chapter: Enemy!


	7. Enemy

**Title: Gone Astray**

**Author: annadiel**

**Disclaimer: Saiyuki and all of its characters are not my property. The only thing I can call my own is the story of this fic. And if this fic resembles anything you have read before, then it's purely coincidental.**

**Synopsis: Goku gets separated from Sanzo and the others in a big bazaar. Homura seizes this opportunity to persuade Goku once more to come with him. And after being disgraced by none other than Sanzo himself, he has decided to come with Homura. Will Sanzo and the others do anything to get him once again?**

Goku had left the group and finally took Homura's offer. He heedlessly fought his now former companions and left them half-dead. The three seemed to have realized what they did to Goku, especially Sanzo. Will they do something about it? Or more importantly, will they be able to escape death this time?

-----------------------------------------

**VII. Enemy**

"What…is this…Goku?" asked Sanzo weakly, confused. _Why did he take Homura's hand? Why did he do all of these?_

And when he heard Goku's reply, he wished he shouldn't have asked at all.

"You wanted me to go away. I'll do so right now. Next time we meet, we'll be enemies, Genjou Sanzo."

Homura, Zenon, and Shien then started to leave. Goku gave a last glance at Sanzo, eyes showing no resentment whatsoever on what he did. He then turned his back on Sanzo and followed the war gods.

Sanzo could only watch as Goku left with them. "…Goku…wait…"

"…come back…"

And then, he was overcome by darkness.

--0--

(Sanzo POV)

It's so dark. It's so impossible to see anything in here. I can't even feel my body anymore.

Am I...dead?

I wish I was. I've hurt too many people, even caused death for some of them. Not only physically, but emotionally.

First, my master. I let him die before me. I did not do anything, I just stared as he protected me from that demon who tried to kill me. And because of that, I swore to myself I would not let myself get too attached to others, as I didn't want to get hurt again if I someday lose them. I only wanted someone who I need not protect.

And now, Goku.

I drove him away. I said horrible things to him. And that was just because of an extremely bad mood, my hate towards the rain.

He was right when he said it was all because of the damn rain. But I retorted. I told him everything was true. And he believed everything I said.

I thought it would just be another part of our lives, that the day after, everything would be forgotten. But I didn't notice Goku was at his limit. And I broke this limit unknowingly.

I was too damn stupid.

I was not a good master to him. I was not a good mentor, a good provider. I was not a good friend.

I know he considers me one. Even though I kept on pushing him away, he still kept on clinging onto me. He still believed in me. And yet I took no notice of him. I told him to go away.

Maybe now that he's in Homura's hands, he will be able to lead a better life. Homura does really show some care for him. A thing that I could not even show that openly.

Let me now rest in peace, drown in this darkness, so I would never be able to hurt anyone again...

**_Not now._**

...What? Who is that?

**_You cannot go now. Not yet. You still have many things to do._**

**_There is still a chance. Get him back. _**

**_Come now, Koryuu. Let us have a brief talk..._**

(end POV)

--0--

"…Koryuu…" a soft voice whispered, "..Koryuu…wake up."

Young Koryuu opened his eyes. Before him was his most respected master, Komyou Sanzo. "Master Komyou…"

They were in a grassy field, in which trees were growing at random places. Flowers filled a part of the area, and near it stood the most magnificent cherry tree, smothered in big, beautiful pink cherry blossoms, where Koryuu sat under and slept until this moment when his master woke him up.

Koryuu stood up, looked at his surroundings, at his master, and at himself. Komyou Sanzo looked at his disciple interestingly, as the latter seemed bewildered.

The kid then spoke. "Am…am I…dead...for real?"

At that statement, Komyou laughed. "What makes you think that way?"

"…Well," answered Koryuu, "It looks like…heaven, and—and Master Komyou is here, so—"

He was interrupted with another laugh from Komyou. "You think you're dead because I'm here? Here," and he took the kid's hand and put it on his chest, where his heart was, "Feel the beat?" Koryuu nodded. Komyou then placed Koryuu's hand on his own chest. "Feel yours beating?" His disciple gave another nod. The monk smiled. "Then we are not dead, right?"

"But," Koryuu retorted, "this place sure looks like heaven, master."

"How do you know how heaven looks like?" his master asked him. "Just because people describe heaven as a very pretty and serene place like here doesn't mean this is actually paradise, my young and ignorant disciple. And do not let that description ruin your true heaven. Everyone has his own view of heaven, and it may not even be like this place where we are. Now let me ask you, what does yours look like?"

Koryuu thought for a moment. Then he answered, "It's like this place, master. But I would really like it if it has a big body of water somewhere, like a river flowing to an open sea…"

"Then it is a very different place from here, Koryuu. This, then, is not the heaven you've been looking for."

"…"

There were a few silent moments that followed. Master and disciple sat beside each other, staring at the place they were in. After a while, Komyou asked another question.

"Ne, Koryuu, would you like someone to share your heaven with you?"

Upon hearing this question, Koryuu seemed a bit lonely. "But…even if I wanted to, that's not possible, for I have no friends who share my beliefs with me. I am alone."

Komyou once again smiled at the kid. "Don't worry, someday you'll find them. You are not the only one alone. There are others like you. And when you finally see them, then you will cease to be alone."

"But what if…what if I myself turn them away?"

Komyou's smile faded. He then said, "You, you have heard the voice, haven't you, Genjou Sanzo?"

Young Koryuu was gone. In his place sat Genjou Sanzo.

Genjou Sanzo replied. "Aa…I heard him call me. I set him free. I had already spent a long time with him. Yet I still do not know him entirely."

"And I don't know why, but he seems to cling to me like I am an important person. Why?"

The master let out a sigh and gave another smile. "After all these years, you still have not matured, my disciple."

"What do you mean, master?" asked Sanzo, "With all these years behind me, I have a better understanding of the world—"

"You may have the mind, but what you lack is this," and Komyou pointed to his heart. "This is the reason why you remain alone. You have chosen to shut yourself from others. And you have also chosen to prevent others from opening themselves to you. You may be feared and respected, but never loved. And because you were never loved, you also never learned to love."

"…I think I know that, Master Komyou. That is why I am wondering why he always seems to care for me more than he for himself. I never did anything for him anyway."

"What I always do is scold him, make him feel stupid, _call_ him stupid. And now I told him to go away. That must have hurt him the most, for he did leave…"

Komyou Sanzo was silent for a moment. Then he gave an answer. "He--whoever this 'he' is--may have seen something in you. That locked door in your inner self was not a hindrance for him to peek inside you. And whatever he saw was enough for him to believe in you, to trust you. And you, after all, freed him, did you not? You are his savior. You are his light."

"He decided to stick with you because of what he saw. And, I think, the last thing he wanted to hear from you was to tell him to leave you. It was alright if you called him stupid, or other things, as long as you let him stay right beside you. And because you uttered those words that seemed taboo for him, all his beliefs in you disappeared. You instantly disappeared right before him. He then decided to go away for that reason."

The blonde monk pondered on his master's words. And he thought they were right. He was so used to keeping to himself that he didn't think first if he was already hurting others.

"What...should I do now, master?"

"You know the answer yourself," said Komyou, "Make yourself visible to him once again. I can see that he was able to slightly open the door towards your soul. Open it a bit more, if not completely, for him. And you yourself should take a look at his soul."

There was silence between them once more. It seemed that everything was clear now for Sanzo.

"Master," he said. Komyou looked at him. He continued, "Thank you. And sorry, if I disturbed you from your peace..."

"Hm? You, disturbed me? But we are not dead, I told you."

"But this place...it's your heaven, am I right?"

Another smile from Komyou. "...Yes, so you have noticed. This is indeed my heaven. But I told you I am not dead."

"How...how come you say this? Please, don't joke with me, master."

"I'm not. You see, my body was indeed killed protecting you, then young Koryuu. Yet this heart still beats up to now. You felt it yourself. It is because you keep me alive."

"...I...keep you alive?"

"As long as your heart beats, so will mine. I exist in you. You keep me, my memory, inside you. That is why I am here before you, my young disciple."

The sky was beginning to dim. Gray clouds were now forming, and it seemed like it would rain soon. Komyou Sanzo once again sighed and told his disciple, "Looks like it's time for you to go. I then wish you luck in your journey."

Genjou Sanzo suddenly felt sleepy. His head felt heavy, and his eyes drooped down. He kept his gaze at his master who smiled at him before being consumed yet again by darkness...

--0--

Sanzo was awakened by a trickle of light that touched his face. He woke up in what seemed to be a clinic ward. He noticed that his wound was covered in bandages. The light was entering a window located near the bed on which he lied.

He then sat up and looked around. There were other beds there beside the one he was on; one of them was untidy, what with the sheets and blankets disarranged, and the pillows almost out of their covers. Another one was so tidy, it stood out among the rest. Sanzo could only guess who used those beds.

Probably Gojyo and Hakkai.

When he tried to stand up, his wound hurt, and the rust-colored bandages slowly became wet, crimson blood once again seeping out of his wound. But this would not stop him from doing what he wanted, and bearing the pain, he got out of the room.

As he went out, the pain got worse up to the point that he almost fell down, had not someone caught him before he did so. Sanzo looked up to whoever it was, and saw Gojyo.

"Oi, should you really be moving around right now?" asked the redhead. He had Sanzo sit on a chair.

"G...Gojyo..."

After a few seconds, Hakkai appeared. "Gojyo I--huh? Sanzo! So you're finally awake." He then approached the two of them, and saw that Sanzo's wound has reopened. "You're still not that cautious, now are you, Sanzo? I'm going to get the doctor to check up on you."

He was about to leave when the monk got hold of his arm. "Wait."

Hakkai stopped. "What is it?"

"Where the hell are we, and how long have we stayed here?"

--0--

Goku was still lying on his bed. He knew it was mid-afternoon, yet only little light entered the place, which was constantly filled with dark and heavy clouds, not to mention a very mysterious aura.

The past two weeks for him had been so tranquil. Homura, Zenon, and Shien had taken good care of him. Homura even gave him the largest and best room he could find in the castle. Zenon, when he felt like it, told him jokes, teased him, and had some fights with him. Shien...well, he did nothing in particular, although he would show some respect to him every now and then, and sometimes he would catch the god murmuring something like, "How lucky you were for knowing him better that I did..."

He was fed, he was clothed, he was very much pampered. But that was all there was.

When the three went out to do their business, they always left him behind. He never got any actual experience in fighting alongside them. True, somehow he felt safe, as because of this he wouldn't get wounded or put his life on the line. But because of this, he continued on feeling very useless--even though Homura was always reassuring him that he was very special--and life was getting pretty much boring.

The door suddenly opened. Shien was on the other side.

"Goku-dono, Homura wants you before him."

Goku then stood up and went to where Homura was.

--0--

Sanzo was back at the clinic ward. The doctor was closing and cleaning up his wound as he toldhim on how they were found. "I was getting some medicine and was going back to this town when I found you all wounded and unconscious. Your pet dragon here was a real help. He turned instantly into a vehicle! What can be more convenient than that?...Anyway, you're lucky a doctor, or better a human, like me found you first. Demons roam around here so often, you could have been food for them."

Hakkai and Gojyo were there watching. Sanzo was a bit irritated when the two seemed to be enjoying what the doctor was doing, staring at the both of them while the doctor went on with his work. "What the hell are you two staring at?"

It was Gojyo who answered. "Well, it really seems interesting on how you heal up way, way slow. I think it has to do with the cigarettes."

"Well, the wound he got was pretty nasty and deep, so I think two weeks' time was still not enough," the doctor replied.

"And if it were for the cigarettes, you would still have been bedridden much more than I was, you perverted cockroach," added Sanzo.

"Oi! Since when have you started calling me perverted cockroach? I only hear that out of that baka-saru's--"

The hanyou then noticed that the mood in the place changed.

"--mouth...?"

The doctor also felt the change. So after he was finished with Sanzo's wound, he got up and said, "Okay, that should be better now. I'll leave you, as you seem to have too many to catch up on." He then went outside the room.

As the doctor closed the door, Hakkai was the one who first spoke. "Goku...was taken by Homura, right, Sanzo?"

Sanzo did not reply. Gojyo then said, "Sanzo, you better speak up. You were the last one conscious. What really happened?"

Again, the monk gave no answer. So finally Gojyo added, "He didn't leave us for good, right?"

When Sanzo heard that question, he felt he needed to answer. "He did."

"So he did leave..." said Gojyo, "I guess that was pretty much expected. We did hurt his feelings. It was our fault..."

"But he didn't give us any chance to say sorry," told Hakkai, "If we only said it that time--"

He then remembered that he was the one who told Gojyo to let Goku dwell on his thoughts that night when it rained. He stopped him from saying anything, even that simple word.

Gojyo noticed Hakkai stop speaking, and knew of the reason why. "Hakkai, I know what's in your mind," he then told his good friend, "But I think that's a good decision you made that time. Now what we should think of is how to get that saru back."

Hakkai said sadly, "...Thanks, Gojyo..."

Gojyo then added, "But how are we going to find that saru?"

Sanzo then spoke. "We needn't think of that."

"Eh?" asked Gojyo, surprised, "What makes you think that way?"

"Homura also needs the scrolls to make his so-called 'new world'. And I happen to have one of them. I'm sure he'll come back for that," he looked at the scroll on top of the table. "And when he does, we'll beat the hell out of him to tell us where Goku is."

"So that's it," said Hakkai, "Now all we have to do is wait."

"Oi," Sanzo said, getting Hakkai and Gojyo's attention, "When that saru indeed shows up, let me speak to him. By myself."

Gojyo and Hakkai were first confused with Sanzo's request, as to why he wanted to talk to Goku himself, but then they thought that that was indeed the best thing to do. Hakkai smiled at Sanzo. "Okay, we'll let you."

Gojyo then teased him. "Didn't think that you really care for that baka-saru! It seems like Sanzo-sama here has a heart after all! Heehee!" A second later, he received a very hard blow on the head with Sanzo's harisen. "Owwww! Where the hell do you hide that fan, anyway?"

"Shut up," said Sanzo. But at the back of his mind, he thought_, Yeah, maybe I do_.

--0--

"Homura?" asked Goku, "You called for me?"

Homura looked at Goku, then at his eyes. He noticed that there was already a little light present in them, yet they were still not the same as they were before. He sighed.

Goku noticed this, so he said, "Uhm, Homura?"

"How's it going?" Homura suddenly asked him.

Goku took a moment before answering. "Well I'm...okay..." But Homura looked discontented with his answer, so he continued, "...Maybe just kinda bored, that's all..."

"Bored? Are we doing something you don't like?"

When Goku heard that question, he immediately followed, saying them with energy and with arms waving left to right, "Waah! No! It's not like that! I'm happy here! I can do all the things I like! I can eat all I want, sleep all I want, and play around all the time! Now what can be better than that?" He finished with a grin.

"But come to think of it, you haven't come out of the castle since we took you in."

At that statement, the smile from Goku's lips faded. He turned silent.

"...So that's it. We leave you everytime we go out. If we keep on doing that, we're no better than Sanzo's group, after all."

Goku dismissed that by saying, "No! You're way better than them! You're all kind to me! I can see that!" And again he smiled widely.

Homura appreciated the smile, but he could sense that that smile was empty. He just smiled back. He then called on Shien and Zenon.

"Zenon, Shien, come here."

The two appeared before him, with Goku still present. He then continued, "Let's go. This time, we'll take Goku with us." Goku's eyes lit up for a very brief moment as he heard Homura say that. Homura then stood up and walked out. The three followed him.

As they were walking towards the open plain, Goku asked, "Homura, where are we going?"

Homura smiled his tender smile at him. "We'll visit your old friends."

At that statement, Goku stopped in his tracks. He looked at the toushin, confused, then followed with a question, "Why?" Homura was silent. So he added, "You...you're not going to return me to them, right?"

"Of course not," answered the toushin, "You wouldn't want that, now would you? Remember when I told I would get two things from Sanzo?" Goku nodded. "The first was you. And the other one is the Maten Kyoumon."

"...You need the Maten Kyoumon?"

"Yes. That's why we'll pay them a visit." He noticed there was still a bit of worry and confusion in Goku, so he said to him, "Don't worry, if they try to hurt you again, I'll be there."

This made Goku's worries go away. He gave a nod for an approval. "I'll also help you out, then!"

"Are you sure of that, Goku?"

"Of course! I told Sanzo that we would be enemies the next time we meet. It's okay! I promise I'll get the scroll for you!" There was the look of determination in the kid's eyes.

Homura was happy that Goku said that. "Okay then." Then they continued on walking.

Goku pondered on everything he said to Homura as they walked. _Will I really be able to keep my promise to him? I just hope so. _

_I shouldn't doubt myself. Homura believes in me. I should get the scroll for sure. _

_I was able to attack Gojyo and Hakkai, anyway. And I know I can do it too, to Sanzo. He was the one who caused all of these, after all. I should pour out everything I got at him, so he wouldn't think I'm useless. No more worries, now..._

_...I am, after all, their enemy._

-----------------------------------------

Yay! Chappie 7's done! Isn't it too abrupt? Sorry for that. I'll make up on the next chapter. Speaking of that, the next chapter's the deciding one! It's time to get the Maten Kyoumon from Sanzo! Goku himself took that job for himself to do, as he promised to Homura. Will he be successful? And Sanzo has planned to talk to Goku and convince him back! Will he also be successful? Let's see, then!

Chapter 8: Sorry!


	8. Sorry

**Gone Astray – chapter 8**

It's about time I skip the lengthy title-author blah-blahs, and go straight to the chapter intro. This chapter is supposed to be the climax, but I'm still having doubts, and I really don't know if I can end the fic in the next chapter. Maybe I'll extend it to two more chapters. So if I do, pray for me that I can finish it in the least time possible. Thanks for sticking with me up to here! 

While Sanzo, Hakkai, and Gojyo are recuperating, Homura and company are about to go to them and get Sanzo's scroll. This time Goku's along with the gods, and he's determined to obtain the scroll himself to prove his worth to the toushin.

The two parties are to clash once again. Does a terrible fight lie just in front of them? And what kind of battle? Is it a battle for life, for pride, for the sake of someone or of oneself, for worth, or for fun? Only time will be able to tell.

Hop inside the jeep and let's go with them on their journey.

-----------------------------------------

**VIII. Sorry**

It was almost dark when Homura and his companions stopped to rest and camped in the forest at the foot of a rocky mountain. Goku got small twigs and leaves that were scattered about; when he acquired enough, Homura used them to create a bonfire to provide their group light for the night. Zenon got some food and Shien cooked them.

As the food was cooking, Goku looked very hungry. He stared at the food very greedily. "Wahh…haraheta… Food! Cook faster, will you?" he suddenly exclaimed at the food.

Zenon smirked at the kid. "Now Goku, do you really think the food will obey you? As if it would understand…"

Goku pouted at him. "But I AM VERY HUNGRY! I want to eat!" Seeing Goku's expression made the eye-patched god laugh out loud. "You're so—HAHA—so—HAHA—damn cute! HAHAHA!" Goku sweatdropped. "Eh, whatever."

The kid leaned his back on the tree behind him and put his hands around his nape. He looked at the sky, now darkened with the absence of light, lacking brilliance from the stars and the moon because of clouds covering them. "No stars tonight, huh?" Turning to Homura, he said, "Ne, it's nice to see you powerful gods camping out at night."

"Well," commented Homura, "gods as we are in heaven, here on earth, we are not invincible. Life here is harder and more troublesome. We need to survive here. That's why if we need to camp, then camp we do."

Zenon added, "Besides, Goku, it would be so, so boring if we get everything with just a snap of a finger. Where's the thrill in that? And activities like this 'camping' are once-in-a-lifetime, limited-to-earth-only experiences. We should try it out for a while! To think of it, that is a reason why we left Heaven."

"To erase all boringness?" asked Goku.

"Kind of. And maybe to feel what's it like to be mortal," continued Zenon, "And of course, to create a new world for us."

"What kind of world is that?" again asked Goku, who by now seemed interested on the 'world' his new companions were planning on creating.

"Um, well…" Zenon scratched his head. "Homura, why don't you explain it to the kid?"

Homura smiled, and facing Goku, he answered, "A world where no one but the most worthy of beings exist. A place where we can be contented of everything we have. Where there is no discrimination and ranks. Where heretics like us have a place, and no one will see us for what we are. I admit that the world I plan to build is somewhat selfish, but that world is our ideal place."

Goku thought for a moment, then said, "But, isn't that world kind of boring, too?"

Homura was quite astonished when he heard Goku's remark, so he followed up, "Oh, is it? Well, it's up to you to make it livelier. You'll help us build that world, after all."

"I can do that?"

"If you lend us your powers, then you absolutely can."

And, for the first time in two weeks, Homura was able to see Goku's true smile.

"WOW! Then I'll make it the best world of all!" said Goku happily. "Now, what else should I add there…"

"Before that," Shien butted in, "we should eat first. The food is ready."

"AT LAST! Eating time!" Goku shouted when he heard that they were about to eat. Seconds later he was eating—or more like attacking—his share of food.

So much on that particular night in Homura's group.

—0—

The night in the village clinic was what one could not describe as lively. Even though rants, jokes, teases and all had been thrown back and forth, from a person to another, the words themselves were at most empty, and those who spoke them lack the right feeling when saying such. With the loss of a companion who was always active, lively, awfully naïve yet very sensitive at times, they were rendered numb, their feelings quite paralyzed.

And, for quite a moment, silence filled the area where they were; as if all of them were mute, unable to find words to say. During those moments, they just stared at each other.

But what could a man possibly get by staring at another man? Absolutely nothing. Well, except irritation, and a bit of craziness.

"Damn!" Gojyo at last said, standing up and walking toward a window, "I can't just stare at other guys' faces for this long a time!"

Hakkai sighed. "We can't do anything in particular. With this kind of atmosphere, we should be playing mahjong by now, but…as you know, we lack a player."

Gojyo looked at Hakkai. "Mahjong, huh…" He then noticed Hakuryuu lying on the floor near his feet. He sat down in front of the dragon and eyed it for a moment. "Oi, Hakuryuu."

"Kyu?" the dragon said, its head moving up, eyes meeting Gojyo's.

And they stared at each other; Gojyo looking interested, Hakuryuu a bit confused.

Gojyo then said it. "…Do you know how to play mahjong?"

"Kyu?" again asked the dragon, head tilting sideways, showing confusion, a big question mark lying above its head.

"B-but Gojyo," said Hakkai, his lips forming a smile but eyebrows narrowing downwards, "Hakuryuu won't even be able to handle the pieces, as he doesn't have hands."

"Ah, that's right. Gomen, Hakuryuu."

Sanzo couldn't take it any longer. "Will you two just shut up and keep your stupidity to yourselves? You may infect others if you continue on doing mindless things!"

"OI! Don't you talk like that!" shouted Gojyo, "As if you're not that stupid like us!"

"Hey, count me out," said Hakkai.

"And you admitted you're stupid, stupid," added Sanzo.

Gojyo looked like he was about to explode in anger, but he refrained himself from doing anything. He looked out the window and saw the heavy clouds. "Looks like it's going to rain soon."

Stillness conquered the place once more. With this kind of mood, nothing interesting would ever occur.

Sanzo loved silence, but not this kind. This silence kind of told him that something was amiss, something that he could not easily perceive. And he hated things like that.

"…It's too boring."

Hakkai noticed Sanzo looking downcast. "You miss Goku, don't you? It shows."

"Aa," Sanzo replied. What was the point in denying, anyway? Just like Hakkai said, it showed. Not only in him, though, but also in everyone in that room.

And at that time, no one voiced out his thoughts, but if they did, all of them would be very surprised.

_Come on, Goku. Where the heck are you, anyway?_

—0—

It was already past eleven in the evening; the sky was pitch black. Fortunately the heavy clouds seemed to dissipate, making any chance of raining lesser. Night in the forest looked very dim, unpleasant, and dangerous, especially in a night with no stars and moon. The absence of the heavenly bodies took the joy and romance away.

The fire did a nice job in maintaining a good mood between the gods and Goku, though. What light the stars of far away could not provide, the fire gave them gladly. What warmth they needed to endure the cold forest night, they got from it. And around it they talked and planned about the world they would build. But eventually they had to put it out so as not to attract others to them, and then they slept.

Not one particular god, anyway.

Homura lied on his blanket and looked at the sky, as if he was looking for something. And the clouds appeared to understand him, for they soon parted, revealing part of the moon. The toushin then focused his gaze on the moon.

The moon was an entity that looked as if it was giving off its true light, but in reality was just borrowing the light from a more powerful source, the sun. It would never be able to produce its own light, yet when the sun disappeared into the horizon and the world was filled with darkness, the moon was there, showing the earth what little radiance it was able to take. Small, but convincing enough for the people to still cling to life.

The moon reminded Homura of himself.

No matter how hard he tried, he knew he could never be the sun that Konzen Douji or Genjou Sanzo was for Goku. He was only capable of 'borrowing some of the light'. He could be protective of, kind and giving to Goku, and at most be on par with how Sanzo might have treated him, but never could he be better. Never could he bring back the energy Goku lost when Sanzo treated the boy as trash. The moon would never be able to provide the earth a lasting light and heat. Only the sun was capable of doing that.

Homura then shifted his gaze to the sleeping Goku. The boy looked very peaceful in his sleep. Seeing Goku this way, he could not help himself but feel happy. Why, he could not tell. Or maybe he truly cared for him. He thought of how he was determined to make Goku stronger for the world he needed to create, even if he should hurt him like he did before. But now that Goku was at his side, he felt he should do anything to keep him near, and not hurt him anymore. Goku had suffered a great deal before, and as he was innocent, it wasn't befitting for him to experience so much pain again.

But then, whom was he joking? Whatever he did now for the boy, in the end, he would still end up just using him for the destiny he laid out for himself. Comrades they were now, but they would turn out as enemies finally.

In the end, he would still be causing great pain to Goku. And for that…

"I'm sorry…"

—0—

Three days after, Homura and the others were almost near the village. It would just take them an hour at the least to get there. As they were getting nearer, Goku felt his heart throb faster. He could not help but feel anxious. What must he do? Was he yet unprepared to face Sanzo and the others? Then he should be as soon as possible.

They were still inside the forest when their path was blocked by around six hundred demons.

"Demons?" said Zenon, "Why do they keep on appearing every time we need to do something important?"

The demons surrounded them, different weapons at hand, and then one spoke. "Stop right there! You're the gods who attacked Gyokumen Koushu's palace!"

Homura sighed. "And?"

"We're here to retrieve the Seiten Kyoumon from you! We don't care if you are gods, there are hundreds of us and only three—" He then looked at the god's group again, and saw not three, but four. According to the information he got, only three gods assaulted the palace, but here they were four. What was more was that the fourth one looked like someone he was also looking for. "Oh, so you're four now. That doesn't make any difference at all!"

"We don't have time to deal with you," said Shien, "We have a more important matter to do, so please get out of the way."

The youkai just laughed out very loud. "HAHAHAHA! So now you want to escape? What big chickens you are!"

Goku wasn't in the mood to fight others than Sanzo's group. But he also wasn't in the mood to be called names. Angrily, he told the youkai, "Don't you ever call us chickens! Repeat that and you're dead meat!"

"Hey kid, don't butt in! You are a more useless chicken! A huge dumbass traitor!"

"…What?" Goku's attention was caught by the youkai's words.

"I said you're a chicken and a traitor! You're youkai like us, right? And no wonder you looked familiar, you were that Sanzo's brat. First you betrayed us, and next you betrayed that monk. Makes you a double traitor. Haha! Maybe you were so dumb that you ran away, or they kicked you out of their group!"

Goku wanted to go ballistic then and there; what with all the humiliation he got from the demon. He clenched his fists tightly, his teeth gritted with madness. He was about to pounce the demon on the ground, but suddenly he heard gunshots. Seconds later, the demon who taunted him were filled with bullet holes and then dropped dead on the ground.

"Don't you talk to Goku like that," Zenon said, leaning his gun on his shoulder, "If he wants, he can beat the hell out of y'all!"

The boy's anger calmed down a bit; he was grateful for what Zenon did for him. "Zenon…"

The eye-patched god grinned. "We're comrades now, right?"

Finally, a demon shouted. "ATTACK!"

The horde of demons charged toward them; the four trapped inside a circle of youkai. Homura and the others fended off every demon that came near them.

"This is pretty tiresome," said Zenon, "They're all pathetic, but still, they're too many."

Shien agreed. "What they can't achieve by sheer force, they're going to by number. Quantity over quality, isn't it?"

Homura set some demons on fire, turning them into ash. "Well, I suggest we clear this up faster. This is really a waste of our time." They continued on attacking the youkai, but the more they killed, the more they seemed to increase in number. And their impatience was already adding to their fury.

The four of them were really annoyed by then. "What the hell? Have all the demons of the world ganged up on us just to get back the scroll?" shouted Zenon as he kept on shooting the demons. Every bullet that came out of his gun went into some youkai's body; bullet being wasted wasn't part of his plan. Especially with youkai this plenty.

Shien's whips lashed at every demon it was able to land on. Homura stopped using his flame technique and drew out his sword, and began slashing the enemies. "Goku!" he called. Goku looked at the toushin as he blocked a demon's attack. "If this goes on like this, we'll miss a very great opportunity to get the Maten Kyoumon."

"What do you want me to do?" asked Goku as he continued on fighting the demons that were charging at him.

"Go ahead and pursue Sanzo's group."

"What?" Goku was surprised. Homura wanted him to go ahead? "But what about you three?"

Homura smiled. "We'll take care of these pests. Don't worry, we'll catch up to you." He stabbed a demon lunging toward him. "Just keep them busy until we arrive. You don't have to get the scroll that quickly."

Goku looked at Homura, Shien, and Zenon. There were still a lot of demons around them, and although he knew the three could defeat them all, he also knew they might be somewhat tired then. But Homura wanted him to go. He wanted the boy to track Sanzo's group, now. He trusted Goku.

Then he should go.

The boy soon made his way out, killing any youkai obstructing him. "I promise I'll be holding the Maten Kyoumon in my hands when you arrive! So make it fast, okay?"

"Yeah, kid! You bet we will!" Zenon answered.

Shien nodded at Goku while still attacking the youkai. "Good luck to you."

Homura just smiled. And as Goku ran from the area, he also smiled back.

He was very happy that he was being trusted. It felt really good that someone believed in him. _I won't disappoint you, guys!_

One demon noticed that Goku was running away. "Hey! That kid's fleeing! Some of you follow him!"

A number of demons followed Goku. Homura noticed this, and he sent a flame dragon to the group. Only a few were hit, though, and the others were already advancing toward the direction to where the boy went.

_Damn…_

—0—

"Okay, your wound is by far healing very well," the doctor in the village, said to Sanzo, "I suppose I can already discharge you today. Just don't overwork yourself, and in two to three days' time you'll be completely healed."

Sanzo was glad to hear that, although it didn't show on his face. He put on his robe after the doctor finished examining his wound.

At last, they were about to leave town. He couldn't wait for that to happen. He had been cooped up in this place for God-knows-how-long (actually, it was just more than two weeks), but he couldn't stay in one place for that long.

Now it was time to find Goku, and try to convince him back. And, more than everything else, try to tell him that he was sorry.

—0—

Goku kept on running, hoping to see the town that Homura was talking about before. _Speaking of Homura, how are they, anyway? They're fine, possibly._

A while later, the town was already in sight. _At last!_ muttered Goku, _Sanzo and the others probably are still in there. I should hurry—_

A spear almost stabbed him in the back had he not sensed it. He then looked behind him, and saw a group of youkai following him.

_They followed me? Then let them come. Besides, they won't defeat me._ He continued to run toward the village. _The…village? W-wait…_ It then occurred to him that he was nearing the village. If he let them follow him up to there, then the villagers might get involved and hurt. His job was just getting the scroll from Sanzo. He couldn't let the people be drawn in this mess. So he decided to stop and fight the demons while still inside the forest. 

The demons also stopped, seeing Goku do so. "Finally, you're going to face us. You won't go away easily, or better yet, alive!"

Goku just smirked. "Then try! But let me tell you something: if there's someone who won't be going out of this forest alive, it would be all of you!"

—0—

Sanzo, Gojyo and Hakkai were standing outside the village clinic, the doctor at the doorway. The three were about to leave town then.

"Thanks for your help, doc," told Hakkai, "Well then, I think we should be going now."

The doctor sighed. "You're ready to go, you've paid and all, but why so much hurry? Don't you want to stay here and rest a bit more?"

It was Hakkai's turn to sigh. "Well, as much as we want that, we can't, because we need to find someone."

"I see," the doctor uttered, "He's the one you've been talking about before, right? He seems very important."

Gojyo almost laughed when he heard that. "Important? He's so noisy and awfully stupid. He's more annoying than important. But then," a faint smile visible in his lips, "maybe those qualities make him important… What the hell am I saying? Maybe his stupidity's already growing on me…" He scratched his head while saying that.

Hakuryuu flew to the doctor and rested on his hands. "Kyu!"

"I'll miss you, too," the doctor replied, "And of course, your unique ability to turn into a vehicle! You were a great help these past weeks!" After that, the dragon went back to Hakkai and rested on his shoulder.

"Oi," said Sanzo, "we should get going."

"Very well. Goodbye, and good luck in finding whoever it is you need to find." The doctor told them. Sanzo and the others began to walk away, Hakuryuu about to transform into a jeep, until a villager came running to the clinic.

"Doc!" he shouted, "Youkai have been spotted just on the way to the forest in front of the village! The chief asks you to be readyin case an attack occurs!"

Sanzo's group stopped, hearing what the man said.

"Really? Youkai, huh? Okay, I'll prepare some medicines if we come to need it."

"Hai." The villager was about to leave, but he remembered something. "There are really a number of demons outside, but our patroller saw a boy fending them off, as if he doesn't want to let the youkai be able to get here."

The Sanzo-tachi were surprised by what they heard. "A boy?" Hakkai asked the man, "Does this boy use a staff in fighting, or does he wear a golden headband?"

The villager thought for a minute, then answered, "I remember the patroller say something about a golden thing shining on his forehead..."

After listening to the man, Sanzo, Hakkai, and Gojyo were now sure of what they were thinking.

No doubt about it, it was Goku!

Hakuryuu then reverted into jeep mode and the three boarded inside. The jeep then sped off towards the forest entrance.

"Hey! Be careful, guys!" the doctor shouted as the jeep went away.

--0--

_Shit! There are still some left!_ thought Goku as he continued on fending off the demons, _How long is this gonna take? I still have to get to Sanzo..._

Suddenly, a demon jumped on him, pinning him on the ground. He tried hard to throw the demon of of him, but to no avail.

"Hehe, that was careless of you," said the demon, grinning, "Now die!"

Goku closed his eyes, waiting for the strike. The demon was about to bury his nails in Goku, but then the boy heard a gunshot from behind him. He slowly opened his eyes,and saw the youkai beside him, dead.

_That was close_, he thought, _good thing Zenon got here in time._ He stood up and turned to the direction from where the bullet came from. "Good timing, Zenon--"

Yet when he saw who it was who helped him, he was very much surprised.

Golden eyes were fixed on violet ones.

"Sa-Sanzo?"

-----------------------------------------

YES! After three months, I have finally come back! Sorry if I took that loooong. My mind also went on a vacation this summer. I'm really very sorry.

Anyway, next chapter, it's gonna be talk, talk, and more talk! And maybe a fight or two. 'Cause next time, Sanzo will finally admit his mistakes! Will Goku be easily swayed with the monk's words? Or will the boy kill him then and there?

Next Chapter: Human!


	9. Human

**Gone Astray – chapter 9**

After a year (almost), I am alive again!

What took me so long? Ahh, yes, I am a _daigakusei_. College sure is hell as much as it is heaven (yes, I am living quite independently, in a dorm). And yes, I'll add 'I am lazy' to the list. I hope someone would still read this. But anyway…

At last! Here comes the climax chapter! Hope it's worthy to be called such!

Sanzo and his group finally met up with Goku in the forest battling demons. What will this confrontation lead to? Will Sanzo be able to say what he has to say? Or will he bottle it up all again and end up making things for the worse? And will Goku listen to Sanzo or kill him before the monk does?

And what's taking Homura so long?

-----------------------------------------

**IX. Human**

Goku was initially surprised. "Sa-Sanzo?"

Sanzo stood there before him. What Goku wanted to find was there before him. He might have drawn attention on the village when he was engaging on the youkai that followed him. Sanzo might have heard from the villagers. Sanzo then proceeded there to see him.

The seeker was the one who was found.

But that wasn't a bad thing at all. In fact, it was a very good outcome, seeing that his target went all the way for him. It might make his job easier.

It just might.

After a few more gunshots and a few dead youkai turning into dust, Goku faced the monk and glared at him.

"Heh, so you're here," said Goku, "Looks like my job's—"

"Disappear."

Goku was taken aback at Sanzo's word. _Eh? What was that for?_ He then noticed the Maten Kyoumon start to move. _Oh no! He's going to use the Maten Kyoumon!_ But as he was about to make a run for it, the scroll came rushing toward him. His reaction was too slow. The scroll was much faster than him. He closed his eyes as he waited for what he thought of as his doom.

Then came shouts from behind him.

_W-what just happened?_ Goku thought. He then slowly opened his eyes, preparing for whatever it was to be unveiled before his eyes.

Surrounding him was the Maten Kyoumon. But it didn't even touch him one bit. It just passed by him. And behind him were the demons he forgot he was fighting a while ago. One by one, they all fell down as the power of the scroll killed them.

After this, Sanzo withdrew the scroll and started walking toward Goku. Goku was way surprised by the turn of events. And as Sanzo drew near him, he found himself stepping back. He didn't know what to do now. Why was Sanzo acting this way? Just a while ago, he knew he gathered more than enough strength to face and fight Sanzo. But why was he cowering now? What was in Sanzo that changed?

He tried to face Sanzo. In doing so, their eyes met once again. And to Goku, Sanzo's purple eyes burned with determination. _Determination…in what?_

"Why are you backing away?" Sanzo, at last, asked Goku, "Aren't you here for this?" He held one end of the scroll, which was lying gently on his shoulders.

_Ah, that's right!_ thought Goku, _The scroll! I promised Homura I'd get it for sure!_ With this in mind, he got back a bit of his strength. He summoned his nyoibou once more and said, "Thanks for reminding me that, Genjou Sanzo. That's right, I am here to take the Maten Kyoumon no matter what!"

"Uh? And I thought you decided to return to us, baka-saru. We were all waiting for you, you know."

Goku knew that voice. "Sha Gojyo…" As he said this, Gojyo appeared behind Sanzo, smiling at him. "'Sha Gojyo'? Since when have you called me by my whole name? What happened to the 'horny water monster' thing, huh?"

"Shut up," muttered Goku. "This is not a time to discuss such things. Just die." In saying this, he took his nyoibou and ran toward his former companions. He was about to strike Sanzo, but a shadow appeared before him and deflected his attack. "What—"

"Hey, Goku. Long time no see," Hakkai said, shielding him and Sanzo with his chi-made barrier. "You don't look very happy and healthy."

"And now you care," muttered Goku, "I thought you wanted to kill me."

Hakkai smiled. _What! The bastard still smiled?_ thought Goku, _He must be serious about the 'killing' thing now._ Then Hakkai replied, "No, that was just a misunderstanding on both sides. We'd be happy to explain everything to you. Just don't retaliate, please. We wouldn't want to hurt you, much less kill you, Goku."

Goku became angrier. "Didn't I tell you before that it was too late for apologies? So just shut the fuck up!" He tried hard to break Hakkai's barrier, forgetting the redhead earlier. He was too focused on the barrier that he failed to notice Gojyo sneak from behind. The moment he realized, however, Gojyo had already hit him on the side with the shakujo, sending him away from Hakkai and Sanzo, who was reloading his gun.

Sanzo spoke again. "You won't go with us peacefully?"

"I'll never go with you again!" shouted Goku, clutching his side in pain. "I've got promises to keep! I'll never give up and I swear I'll get that scroll from you!" With that he raced toward Sanzo, nyoibou in hand. He also braced himself once again in case Gojyo and Hakkai interfere.

Which did not happen.

Gojyo and Hakkai parted, giving him way toward the monk. He was, of course, surprised. Why would they do that? Did they know they were no match for him? Or did they purposely give him the way to Sanzo?

And then he realized that Sanzo's gun was aimed at him.

Sanzo pulled the trigger. Goku wasn't fast enough to dodge the bullet.

It went straight through his left chest, just missing the heart.

Goku fell, blood gushing out of his wound. It was very painful. This was the first, and maybe the last, time he was shot with Sanzo's gun, the bullet not just grazing him, it might kill him any minute now. He wanted to scream, but the pain wouldn't even let him do that. He could only lie there, aware of his sudden defeat. He looked up at Sanzo, and saw something that he could not believe he would be seeing in the monk's eyes.

It was a look of sadness, a look asking for forgiveness.

He wondered if he was just hallucinating. Sanzo had never looked at him that way before. He was about to lose consciousness, but before he did, his doubts were sealed when he heard Sanzo's words.

"Goku, I'm sorry…"

Nothingness followed soon after.

—0—

Sanzo, Gojyo and Hakkai circled around Goku's body. Hakkai knelt and picked the unconscious boy up. "We should hurry up and take him to the doctor in town, before he really dies from the gunshot." With that said, Hakuryuu transformed into a jeep, and Hakkai placed Goku on the backseat.

Gojyo and Sanzo walked toward Hakuryuu. Gojyo told Sanzo, "Ne, Sanzo, the bullet you shot at Goku…"

"It wasn't the spirit-banishing kind. Just an ordinary bullet. I keep it in case I need it to control Goku or simply to make him behave. Who would've thought that theory would be put to practice…"

"I thought so…" Gojyo smiled. As they were boarding, he suggested something to Sanzo. "Hey, want to switch places this time?"

Sanzo replied. "I don't mind."

With that, they went back to the town, Gojyo beside Hakkai in front, and Sanzo with Goku, the monk holding the boy carefully not to injure him more.

—0—

Homura, Zenon, and Shien later arrived at the scene. They found where Goku must have fought. But no Goku was on sight.

"Ne, Homura," asked Zenon, "did the boy get killed?"

Homura surveyed the surroundings more. He then saw a dried pool of blood. He knelt before it. He didn't know how, but he was certain it was Goku's.

"The boy's?" Zenon asked again, looking at what Homura found.

"Probably," answered Homura. _So Konzen found him._

Shien said, "The town is nearby. Should we look for him there?"

Homura stood up and replied, "The sun is still up. We would wait here for him. I expect he'll be back by nighttime."

"May I ask how sure are you about that, Homura?" questioned Shien.

"Very." Homura smiled. "He still has promises to keep."

—0—

Sanzo was seated beside Goku's bed in the clinic ward. The boy had been asleep for hours. He really didn't expect his plan to work.

_(Flashback) _

_"What! You'll try to shoot Goku with your gun?" Gojyo yelled at the monk. _

_"Yes," Sanzo replied calmly, "Knowing Goku, it would be hard to persuade him. We might as well consider putting him down." _

_Hakkai's face was etched with worry. "But Sanzo, you're not really planning on killing Goku, now, are you?" _

_"I'll take care of that, just do as I say." The look on Gojyo's and Hakkai's face told him they weren't convinced. He sighed and told them, "Don't worry, it won't kill him. He won't die." _

_Gojyo smiled. "Hearing the words 'don't worry' from Sanzo's mouth is kinda rare. Okay, I'm in." _

_Hakkai also gave a smile. "Fine, we'll have it your way." _

_(end flashback)_

When they arrived back at the village and into the doctor's clinic, the doctor was surprised to see them immediately. After seeing the reason why, he then checked on Goku, only to notice that he was doing quite well healing himself. Still, he removed the bullet inside the boy's body and cleaned the wound for it not to be infected. He assumed Goku might wake up later, judging by his rapid healing.

"He's one hell of a person," Sanzo remembered the doctor say.

Hakkai had a comment to that, telling the doctor, "He's always the first one to recover among us, how grave his wounds might be. It's like his 'gift'."

_Yeah, if not for that 'gift', he would be dead by now even though I didn't use a banishing bullet, _thought Sanzo.

Now all he needed to do was wait for Goku to wake up. He still had some explaining to do.

The door opened. Sanzo heard it, and when he glanced at it, he saw Hakkai enter. He had a mug of coffee held on each hand and placed them on the drawer beside the bed, then pulled a chair beside Sanzo and sat on it. "Waiting for him to wake up?"

Sanzo just nodded as a reply. Hakkai smiled and continued, "It may take quite some time. I brought coffee, seeing that it'll be a long day for you."

"And the other one?"

"That's for me, obviously. I can stay up as late as I want. In case you feel tired—"

"That won't be necessary. I'll be able to wait."

Hakkai was a bit surprised to hear that from Sanzo. Nonetheless, he was glad to hear it. "Whatever you say, Sanzo. Okay, I'll just accompany you for a while."

—0—

It was nearing nighttime. The sun was about to set any time now. After an hour of waiting, Hakkai excused himself and went out, carrying the now empty mugs outside. Sanzo was now alone with Goku once again. The monk wondered when Goku would wake up. Was the doctor wrong in assuming that he'd wake up today?

He was about to think so until he saw Goku stir up a bit.

—0—

Goku opened his eyes.

The room he was in was bathed in red-orange light, so it must mean it was almost evening. He was on a bed. _I'm still alive,_ he thought, _Why? I'm sure Sanzo shot me with the banishing gun._

"Looks like you're awake."

The voice startled Goku. He immediately sat up, wincing at the pain from his wound. That voice could only be from one man he thought he knew very well. And as he turned to the voice's owner, he saw the one he expected to see.

"Sanzo." Goku's voice wasn't with disgust, or with anger. It was full of uncertainty. Even his eyes showed this, and it didn't escape Sanzo.

Sanzo sighed. "Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why won't you go back?"

Goku, after hearing the question, said, his voice more cutting, "'Why'? _You_ told me to go away. I did. And what? Now you want me back? I thought you didn't want me. I thought you were happier with me gone. Were you not?"

Sanzo kept silent, not knowing where to start, or what to reply.

"Oh, so now you can't even answer me." Goku smirked. "This all started with you. You should know that."

Still hearing nothing from Sanzo, Goku averted his gaze from Sanzo to the sheets covering him, clenching his fists on it, and went on with all the sentiments he kept up inside of him until now.

"I know I am indebted to you for freeing me from that mountain prison I was kept in. You took me in, you fed, clothed, housed me. I was thankful for that. I wanted to repay you somewhat. But then, I didn't know how because I didn't know you that much. You were always so alone, so distant. All I knew then was that you were my savior, my _sun_.

"Then I observed that no one wanted to be near you. The monks were afraid of you for some reason I wasn't aware of then. Even you, most of the time, kept to yourself.

"Maybe because of those things I saw, I wanted you to know that there was someone who cared for you, who wanted to keep you safe, even though you didn't need one. I wanted to be that one. That was why I clung on to you, tried to make you happy, and protected you when there came a time you couldn't do it yourself. Heck, I even considered being a servant for you!" At that sentence, he raised his voice and again looked at Sanzo, the expression in his face clearly showed anger.

Sanzo flinched. He had already expected this kind of treatment from Goku, yet he was still caught unprepared.

Goku continued, eyes still fixed on the monk. "But then even though I've shown you that I cared, you thought nothing of it. You never thought of anyone at all. You treated everyone around you as trash—not worthy of any significance, or even a mere remembrance.

"You showed me I was unimportant, for far too many times now. I thought that was just okay, and believed that someday you'd appreciate me. But I expected too much. Now I think about it, why the hell did you free me? My guess is that you wanted someone to persecute, and damn, was I the unlucky one. Tell me, was I ever of any worth to you, even for a tiny bit?"

"Yes, you are." answered Sanzo immediately, ever so seriously.

"Don't fucking joke with me."

"Yes you are damnit!" shouted Sanzo. Hearing this made Goku a bit surprised. Sanzo continued. "If you're finished, then it's my time to talk now."

"My master told me once that I would hear a voice. That I should listen to it, and maybe it would change my life. Of course, I remembered it; the one who told me was my master, after all. But everything changed since he died. The only one who cared for me was gone. I was unwanted then. Everyone, they were jealous of me because I was Master Komyou's favorite, and was given the title of Sanzo. I went to the outside world not knowing a thing about it. I experienced every worst thing that could happen. And because of that, I threw my feelings away. There was no good keeping them, anyway."

He looked squarely at Goku, who seemed intent on listening even though his face was still etched with anger, and now mixed with confusion.

"You are right, I never cared for anyone since Master Komyou. I forced myself to throw everything away except my memories of him. But then, I heard the voice my master talked about before.

"To tell you the truth, it was annoying. It kept calling out to me. It seemed like I have no choice but to find the source and make it stop calling. I found you, and for a moment, the voice stopped. But when I took you, you began chattering again to no end. Initially I thought it was really a mistake to have taken you out of there."

Goku asked vaguely. "Then why did you?"

"Because… there was something telling me I needed to. It was as if _I_ was the one really indebted to you. For what reason, I still do not know. There was something… something in you that told me I knew you even before I saw you, or heard your voice. I needed to know.

"I want to know what it is. But I wouldn't be able to if you're not here. I know you wouldn't believe this, but I have to admit…

"…You were able to grow on me, you know."

Silence. Both took time to absorb everything they just told each other. Sanzo couldn't believe he'd be able to talk for that long. It was the first time, he thought, he did that.

Goku couldn't believe Sanzo telling him something like that. Did Sanzo really think of it like that? Then why didn't he show this up in the first place? Why did he keep on lying to himself?

Then an answer dawned on him. Sanzo told him himself.

He threw away his emotions long ago.

Sanzo didn't show any signs of soft emotions. He thought they would destroy him. He thought they were unnecessary. That was why he never showed he cared, even though he did.

But now Sanzo was opening himself to him, telling him that somehow he truly cared. And he remembered Sanzo's words a while ago before he fainted.

He told him he was sorry.

"Goku."

Goku's thoughts were cut off when he heard Sanzo's voice.

"I'm sorry. Next time, just don't mind everything I say when it rains." Sanzo looked serious when he said that.

Hearing that from him, Goku's anger disappeared. He could see that Sanzo was truly serious about the 'sorry' thing. But it was hard to just throw away everything that occurred before.

_He really **is** sorry, _Goku thought, _right now I can forgive him. But… _

_…I never break my promises._

Goku tried to stand up. He was sure of what to do now. If there was some thing he was sure he could do, it was to fulfill every promise he made.

He had to do some of them immediately.

Sanzo also stood up when Goku did. "Come with us, will you?"

"I'm sorry, Sanzo."

"For what?"

"…For this!" And as Goku said that, he gave Sanzo a hard punch on the abdomen. This made Sanzo double over in pain and he fell on the floor. Goku then took the Maten Kyoumon from Sanzo's shoulders. "I'll take this from you."

"Goku…"

"I told you. I never break my promises. Well then," and he jumped outside through the window, ran out of the village, and into the forest.

Meanwhile, Hakkai and Gojyo heard a commotion coming from the ward. When they entered, they saw Sanzo about to get up, his hand on the bed for support. They noticed that Goku was not there.

"Where's Goku?" asked Gojyo, "Did he wake up already?"

Sanzo nodded. "He fled, taking the scroll with him."

Gojyo cursed. "He had the strength to do that already? We really should've kept an eye on him."

"And Sanzo, you did nothing? So that must mean we don't have any chances with him now. He's really with Homura from now on," said Hakkai.

"I doubt that," Sanzo said without doubt.

The two looked at him. "Why do you say that?" said Hakkai.

"…Because he told me he never breaks his promises."

—0—

Came nighttime, Goku was able to find the place where he last fought. Indeed, he saw Homura, Zenon, and Shien there waiting for him.

"Homura was right," said Zenon, smirking, "He said you'd be back at night."

Goku approached Homura and showed him the scroll. "I got it, just as I promised."

Homura took the scroll from Goku and examined it. It was the real scroll. He gave Goku a smile and said, "You did it."

"Of course," told the boy. "I never break my promises."

With that, they started their trip back to the castle.

-----------------------------------------

Yahoo! It's done! Did you notice there was an emphasis on promises in this chappie? It will play a big role in the last one. Yes, the next chappie is the last!

Sanzo was talkative today, ne? And it seems like he got what Goku was trying to tell him. I hope you like this one! See you next time!

Last chapter: Promise!


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